Becoming Friends with clients...

I have been having some really great discussions on here and on Facebook and my websites about the therapeutic relationship and what happens when you become friends with clients or engage in other dual relationships with them -nothing illegal like dating clients or sex of course but trading services like accounting or tax help and seeing clients socially. I never was taught anything about this and in fact when I started out 22 years ago, massage was more of a lifestyle choice than anything and being friends and even dating was totally OK back then. Dating clients is now illegal here in WA and a few other states. Now with massage moving ahead and becoming a profession with all of the things happening like the BOK, licensing reciprocity being talked about, the FSMBT, the troubles with NCBTMB and such we are being seen more as health care providers and massage professionals. I was just wanting to hear others stories and experiences of becoming friends with clients... What were you taught about socializing and becoming friends with clients in massage school if anything? Do you engage in social relationships outside your massage business/job with clients? How has it helped or hurt your practice/job? What effect does it have on your massage work with that client if any? How do you manage the power differential factor that occurs in the massage/client relationship and the possibilities for transference and countertransference when you work with them doing massage and when you see them socially? What boundaries if any do you set up to preserve the therapeutic relationship? Do you feel like you are friends with clients even though you may not see them socially? That's probably too many questions. Of course you don't have to answer them all and can add your own thoughts on the topic. Basically what I am wanting to know is how many people see their clients socially successfully and if there are massage therapists who also choose not to see their clients socially. I am wanting to learn what is being taught in massage schools about all of this. Thanks very much Julie Onofrio
Load Previous Comments
  • Angela Lind

    I have a special situation of this.

    Is a man around my age that he was my client for 2 years. I remember the first day I met him and went to his place. He was very respectable but hours later when I finished the massage, he called me and ask me out for a date. I told him that I don't date my clients, that also its part of the rules of my profession. He respected that and he become only my client for the next 2 years. 2 years later, he told me that he really loves my massage and that he is interested in becoming a massage therapist too. He studied massage therapy and now he is a licensed massage therapist. He hasn't been my client for almost a year and he has been asking me for my advice on this profession because he is just starting out.

    He has been working very hard as a massage therapist and he is now in pain. He is asking me to trade massages and I don't know what to do. He was my client for 2 years and now seeing myself trading massages with him and becoming friends its kind of weird. I don't know what to do. He is very nice guy and he has given me referrals, promote my business too. So I kind of feel compromised, so I don't know what to do.

    What do you think Julie about this? would be OK to become friend with him and trade massages? (Not dating! just as friends!)
  • Julie Onofrio

    I can't really answer for you. It is really a personal thing. You just have to see what feels right and be able to be upfront about your concerns and address the issues as they happen.

    Julie
  • Gloria Coppola

    Angela,
    Be up front and honest with him about how you feel. You have got to do what feels right for you.
    If you know he has/had feelings and you start trading that might make you feel uncomfortable and create tension in your relationship. I would just be "real". Good Luck