I have a new male client and I'm trying to decide whether or not he's being inappropriate during his sessions. Normally it's a pretty straight yes or no with me, but this one has me wondering.
From the get-go he mentioned having lower back issues, so we've always done a lot of lower body work. He then started claiming that his hip flexors and adductors were always really tight, so he requested a lot of inner thigh work.
This is all fine, but here's my issue - he continuously spreads his legs during the massage, to the point where they're almost falling off the table (most of the time one or both are no longer on the bolster). Sometimes I wonder if he's asleep, but other times I know that he's not b/c when I try to work on his IT bands, he works against me like he wants to keep his legs spread and does not want his legs to turn inward at all. He does this both when he's prone and supine, and it unnerves me.
He's never become aroused or said anything too inappropriate (the first time he came in he asked how my hands weren't always so tired and said he could "return the favor" should they ever hurt. I chalked it up to nervousness and it's not like that's super inappropriate). However, there is something about him in general that kind of creeps me out, which is probably why I'm being so indecisive about this one. Does anyone have experience with this? Is he being weird or is it just more comfortable for him?
Joyce Young
I would agree with the other replies, I think this guy is walking the creep border. I would give him the benefit of the doubt and see how he acts when you set the rules "when you push against me with your leg you're fighting against me and making me work harder. If work harder I risk injuring myself and I don't think we both want that". If he persist you can just them "release" him from your care since his action might cause risk to you.
Feb 7, 2013
Pam Cameron
I just wanted to say that I had a client like that when I first started. He spent a lot of money with me and I was broke so combine that with being brand new to the profession and I let him get away with way too much. He started out very strait laced and very gradually started pushing boundaries. I have found that people who push boundaries like that are very subtle and they know exactly what to say to make sure it could be interpreted several ways.
I think you should trust your gut. My gut has never steered me wrong.
And don't be too hard on yourself if you think you've been letting him get away with too much. We're all learning as we go along.
Feb 9, 2013
Shannah Goss
Listen to your gut. If he makes you feel uncomfortable, it's because he is being weird. Also, I agree with Qiana Thompson about the positioning of the leg. When in prone, I bed the knee out towards me, to work the IT band. This really helps get the IT band with ease, and you're looking at it directly, when I've had to work it supine, it just is too rough on my body mechanics.
Feb 12, 2013