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Question: Inappropriate Clients
I am new to the massage world, graduating last year and am practicing in my own shop in a small town. Before opening my shop, a handful of local "massage parlors" were shut down on the grounds of prositution.
Im my information I make it clear I do professional massages, I am a certified practioner, am in professional memberships, etc. Unfortunately I am still attracting some negative behavior from some of my male clients (whom are never repeats). I'm just looking for some tips to be more pro-active about this. Thanks!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on
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One tip I use is to ask my client in the conversations BEFORE booking, what brings them to getting a massage and then I list (chronic tension, relaxation, injury, etc.). I also ask what their previous experience with massage is and let them know these questions are to help me better prepare a session for them. I use these questions to "feel out" the client. Generally I find that those that are looking for something else will reveal it in conversation. If you're talking directly on the phone (for me a lot of my first contact is through email) I would also suggest using anatomical verbage. Make the conversation very professional. This helps set the tone for those that don't have a clue. :)
Also, in your marketing, be sure to not use any verbage that can remotely be thought of differently. And be sure to use more medical type imagery inside of "feel good" imagery.
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Permalink Reply by Vivian on
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I do not make same day appointments for new male clients, I will only give them an appointment a few days away. When I speak with a new male client for the first time I will say right up front "I am a licensed massage practitioner in this state, I perform therapeutic, non-sexual massage." i say it to every new male client, no matter who he is.
I also speak to them like a health care professional, using medical terminology, I do not say things like "your going to feel so good!" or "your going to love your massage". I will talk instead about pain relief, muscle constriction, that sort of thing.
making things very clear up front is very important to me, I do not do well with confrontation, so an ounce of prevention is priceless to me.
I've been practicing since 1997 and have only had one client that I would say got out of line. I have had plenty of phone calls form males who are looking for something extra, but I have always been able to sort them out with the initial phone call.
Thats what has worked for me, but I am in a pretty massage friendly location too, so that helps.
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Permalink Reply by Daniel Cohen on
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As a male therapist I don't have the exposure to this the ladies may have. That is not as much. I have been asked for "additional services" by both men and women. This was much more common over 5 years ago, but still happens.
As already mentioned keep the intent of the massage clear. If asked make a clear statement including that the massage will stop if there is any additional inappropriate request or behavior.
Also read the other ads where you advertise to learn if this is used for sex classifieds. If you are taking a job search the location online using the address, place name and phone number. This should turn up reviews from clients that will tell you what the place is known for. If you are buying a place know for extras on the internet don't be hard on the guys for expecting more but when regulars call for appointments and their Therapist isn't there, let them know what the sessions are and that there is no sexual extras available.
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Permalink Reply by Kelli Dougan on
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I agree w/ Lisa on this. I used to get quite a lot of this same thing when I relocated my office several years back. If you create a dialogue upfront, their intentions will come out. Now, on the rare occassion I get a male client in asking for more I laugh at them and show them the door explaining they should be ashamed of themsrlves. lol. No really, it becomes amusing at times and unfortunate that we still have to deal with these types of issues after all this time. Please make sure if you are working by yourself in the evenings/weekends to ensure you lock your door. Its a simple precaution you don't get any unwanted visitors lurking around. Good luck.
Lisa said:One tip I use is to ask my client in the conversations BEFORE booking, what brings them to getting a massage and then I list (chronic tension, relaxation, injury, etc.). I also ask what their previous experience with massage is and let them know these questions are to help me better prepare a session for them. I use these questions to "feel out" the client. Generally I find that those that are looking for something else will reveal it in conversation. If you're talking directly on the phone (for me a lot of my first contact is through email) I would also suggest using anatomical verbage. Make the conversation very professional. This helps set the tone for those that don't have a clue. :)
Also, in your marketing, be sure to not use any verbage that can remotely be thought of differently. And be sure to use more medical type imagery inside of "feel good" imagery.
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Permalink Reply by Laura M. Arnold on
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Thanks for your help!!
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Permalink Reply by natalie marsh on
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In my local community this has been an ongoing discussion, specifically whether it is ok to inform fellow MT's of potentially dangerous situations. The most recent situation involved a man physically attacking a therapist (shoving and hitting) and her having to get a protection order against him. He was to be a first time client.
We all seem to have a pretty good idea about how to protect ourselves against someone who behaves in a sexually inappropriate manner, but what about when you follow all the steps to be safe? Is it legal and appropriate to let our colleagues know when something like this happens?
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Permalink Reply by Laura Allen on
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Strictly speaking it is a violation of confidentiality. However, if a police report was filed, as it should be in that type of situation, that makes it a matter of public record.
natalie marsh said:
In my local community this has been an ongoing discussion, specifically whether it is ok to inform fellow MT's of potentially dangerous situations. The most recent situation involved a man physically attacking a therapist (shoving and hitting) and her having to get a protection order against him. He was to be a first time client.
We all seem to have a pretty good idea about how to protect ourselves against someone who behaves in a sexually inappropriate manner, but what about when you follow all the steps to be safe? Is it legal and appropriate to let our colleagues know when something like this happens?
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Permalink Reply by Lucianna Johnston on
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I do a phone intake with new male clients where I ask a few questions like, "Have you had a massage before?" "Do you have anything specific going on?" From their answers I can sort of get a feel for them and usually I can tell if they are legit or not. Then, I explain exactly what they can expect from the moment they walk in until we are finished with the session. When I am explaining what they can expect I mention that I use professional draping methods for their comfort and mine so they know that I'm legit. From there I just look for signs. Most of the time, if they are looking for more than a therapeutic massage they will ask questions too. For example, if they ask more than once "What type of massage do you do?" that is a red flag. Or, if they want to know if I will just work on their gluts or thigh's Obvious red flag.
I don't take them on the same day and I don't take walk ins at all. I found that typically the ones that are looking for more are in the mood and want it now. I think above all, you should use your intuition. If something doesn't feel quite right and you have a feeling about someone then don't book them. Just politely say that you are not taking new clients but thanks for the call. I haven't had any problems with this since I got dialed in on my screening abilities but when I first started it was definately an issue. Just don't be afraid to follow your gut.
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Permalink Reply by Erin S. on
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I work in a sports facility, not a spa, I don't do walk-ins, my intake says no sexual behavior will be tolerated, I have my own office area but there are always people in the sports section of the facility...all of the precautions one would think to take. I have a client who I have seen a few times and recently he has been getting more, umm, comfortable with me?
Two sessions ago he wiggled on the table, I would stop and work another area and when I had him turn I noticed an erection. I chose to overlook it because I know that this sort of thing can happen. He is an older man, I have worked on his wife and I am non-confrontational so I was too shy/embarassed myself to say anything. The most recent time, same thing, but when I went to change the sheets after the client left I noticed ejaculant. Now, I don't know much about the male organs so how and when things come out when one is not arroused is beyond me. Needless to say, he has made me feel uncomfortable in my own business. Any advice on how to tell someone they are no longer welcome at your establishment?
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Permalink Reply by Bob Pyle on
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Dont see how you can avoid those hit and run people with that attitude. I would personally escort them out by the ear. Maybe a more indepth pre-interview if you suspect anything from anyone? See if you can draw their intentions out before you touch this person? Just a few thoughts from me. :)
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