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Fellow LMTs
So, I have to rant a little and I would like to get some feedback. In my area there are a surprising amount of LMTS. I am the type of person that values working and personal relationships with other
massage therapists. I think I may have developed the plague. Every LMT I have tried to create a relationship has failed. For those of you who know me through here, that's probably hard to believe. I can give 2 prime examples of fallout right now.
1: I had a large group of people coming through that I could not accommodate myself. So I reached out to a fellow therapist to send some work her way. She did not even return a phone call. Dropped the ball! So, now I send NO referrals her way.
2: There was another therapist in town that I was receiving massage from on a fairly regular basis. Getting a hold of here was tricky. She rarely returned phone calls and was ALWAYS late to her appointments. Plus, she never had any notes, med history, or even business cards! The straw that broke the camels back was that I called her to refer out a client. She answered the phone. Woo-hoo! Kicker: she was in the middle of a session!!!!!!!!!
I have recently had two more therapists express interest in developing some form of relationship. It seems I'm hearing a lot of talk and no action! I believe it is necessary to hold good working relationships with others in your field for many reasons. One of which is to refer clients to someone whom is better experienced in a certain case that would benefit the client.
So, I have come to 2 separate conclusions. I either do have the plague and am unaware... or the other therapists in the area are possibly worried about client theft. Which is absurd for many reasons. Such as ethics. Not to mention that we do not own people. There are many "fits" out there for client/therapist relationships. You can give the best massage in the world and 3 out of 4 will stay with you forever. That 4th one will find someone else and become their number 3!
Give me all you got! I'm frustrated an confused. How are your relationships with other therapists apart from in our online community here?
massage therapists. I think I may have developed the plague. Every LMT I have tried to create a relationship has failed. For those of you who know me through here, that's probably hard to believe. I can give 2 prime examples of fallout right now.
1: I had a large group of people coming through that I could not accommodate myself. So I reached out to a fellow therapist to send some work her way. She did not even return a phone call. Dropped the ball! So, now I send NO referrals her way.
2: There was another therapist in town that I was receiving massage from on a fairly regular basis. Getting a hold of here was tricky. She rarely returned phone calls and was ALWAYS late to her appointments. Plus, she never had any notes, med history, or even business cards! The straw that broke the camels back was that I called her to refer out a client. She answered the phone. Woo-hoo! Kicker: she was in the middle of a session!!!!!!!!!
I have recently had two more therapists express interest in developing some form of relationship. It seems I'm hearing a lot of talk and no action! I believe it is necessary to hold good working relationships with others in your field for many reasons. One of which is to refer clients to someone whom is better experienced in a certain case that would benefit the client.
So, I have come to 2 separate conclusions. I either do have the plague and am unaware... or the other therapists in the area are possibly worried about client theft. Which is absurd for many reasons. Such as ethics. Not to mention that we do not own people. There are many "fits" out there for client/therapist relationships. You can give the best massage in the world and 3 out of 4 will stay with you forever. That 4th one will find someone else and become their number 3!
Give me all you got! I'm frustrated an confused. How are your relationships with other therapists apart from in our online community here?
Views: 158
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andrea McCully on
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Hi Marissa! It IS unfortunate isn't it?! I can see what you are talking about. It is not easy to find other therapists that you trust with your clients bodies in the first place, let alone hope that they are willing to reciprocate and work on this "referral partnership" together.
I have had good luck so far myself in this respect. All I can think is that maybe they just don't know how to react to your openness because commonly private practitioners get into the mind-set of "competition." When in fact we shouldn't look at it that way at all. You and I both know that we should look at this as more of a "team." When you are actively looking for someone to refer to and do trades, you are just going to have to be upfront from the beginning...almost like an interview. This is your chance to tell them of your experiences in this regard and let them tell you what THEY expect from the working relationship.
It IS unfortunate but don't give up. Just keep looking and when you find the right "partners" it's going to work for the good of all those involved.
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Permalink Reply by I. Paul Dunsdon on
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LOL...I feel your pain sister! I am newly licenced and fresh out of school. In my town LMT's are like 7-11. there is one on every corner. So it was a real shocker to find that while in school everyone was supportive and friendly and now that I have joined the competition there is a slight energy of apprehension when I look to develop a circle of peers. Almost like a bird getting kicked out of the nest and left to fend for itself. I still have so much to learn and no mentors to turn to.
I goes with out saying that we need colleges if for nothing else than to accommodate large groups of people. I am still active in my schools clinic and recently we had 15 high school seniors book up an entire Saturday. There was no way i could have taken advantage of that on my own & I don't know enough therapists and or have the space for it.
Now looking at your situation if you are calling on your peers and they don't answer I would advise a 3 strike rule. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
Then again, I can't tell you how often I am reminding myself to not be upset over someone else's unprofessionalism.
Being late, unacceptable!
Reusing linen without washing, unacceptable!
SOAP note laziness if any at all, unacceptable!
Smoking before your next session, disgusting AND unacceptable!
And as far as client theft... it is a legitimate fear, especially now with time being so tough. I make a point to advertise myself to clients when I help out at a local private practice. But I am careful to not give the impression that I am trying to steal them away. I simple give them my card that has my website and phone number so if they have questions or problems they can contact me. There is no mention of my rates, location of my office or incentive for them to book the next one with me.
That said I think you could coin a phrase based on how you feel.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on
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Hey Marissa
It always amazes me when you post how similar we are to each other. with that said, i was thinking i smelled, but i DO wear deoderant and shower so i don't know. and i thought i was a fairly easy going person. Yet you can see through a thread i created on here that's probably been pushed to the next page of threads from lack of posting...that my attempt to network with TX MTs is not happening. Funny thing is I came on this board for that exact reason. and there are a TON of TX MTs yet not one has reached out to say "hey".
so i have decided that it's just not meant to be at the moment. and as long as i have the connections to some through hear...it will have to do.
feel like moving to TX? :)
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Permalink Reply by Will Tice on
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I think that is just human nature Marissa. You meet thousands of people in your life but how many of them create with you an enduring relationship? It is the full circle that makes it and if it isn't there, thank the universe and move on.
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Permalink Reply by Marissa on
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Thank you all for your input! Still as frustrated as ever though. I feel like I am doing everything in my power to waive the "I come in peace" flag and it still doesn't help. Regardless, I will keep trying.
Lisa- too many tarantulas and scorpions. :) Yes, I did see your efforts in reaching out. It's a shame that there are not any that are reaching back. Their loss!
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Permalink Reply by Kim Goral on
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I understand your frustration. I recently moved halfway across the country for school and henceforth closed my business that I had. I tried for about 2 months to find someone to take care of my clients when I left (read: free referrals, no strings attached) and I had a couple therapists who would never return phone calls/emails! It didn't make any sense to me- who wouldn't want more free business? So I did not give out either of their names to my clients. It was a dissapointing experience for me- I was trying to find 2-3 good, qualified therapists who I knew gave good massages and would be professional and attentive and I was only able to give out the name of 1.
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It's a shame, isn't it? Absolutely ridiculous that it's an automatic "something's fishy" response. I just don't get it! I think that this may need to be covered in schools. The fact that networking and creating relationships withe fellow therapist would benefit not only ourselves, but our clients as well.
Example: I went on maternity leave and the company I was with hired someone I was completely unfamiliar with to "fill in". I left all notes and instructions with where we were going and the green light to try something else to see if it could work as well. This therapist, according to my clients, never even asked what their treatment goals were, how we were progressing or if they wanted to continue in the same manner or try something different. She just went in and did whatever she felt like! Many called me at home and said that they were not going back and that they would wait until I came back.
It is my firm belief that if my "replacement" had a good relationship with myself, this would be a non-issue. I'm in my 7th year of massage, ancient to some and still a rookie to others. There has been many highs and lows. There have been many times, too numerous to list, that I wish I had the working relationship that I needed to refer my client out. That in itself is a trust issue. If my client goes to you for work that is going to benefit them better than what I can do, fantastic. If they come back to me for their regular maintenance, great! If they stay with the other therapist, because they end up with a better client/therapist relationship, good for them!
Take the client theft fear out of the equation, and you purely get the well being of the client. That's why we do what we do, isn't it??!?!
Kim Goral said:I understand your frustration. I recently moved halfway across the country for school and henceforth closed my business that I had. I tried for about 2 months to find someone to take care of my clients when I left (read: free referrals, no strings attached) and I had a couple therapists who would never return phone calls/emails! It didn't make any sense to me- who wouldn't want more free business? So I did not give out either of their names to my clients. It was a dissapointing experience for me- I was trying to find 2-3 good, qualified therapists who I knew gave good massages and would be professional and attentive and I was only able to give out the name of 1.
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Permalink Reply by Ellen Stetson on
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My experience with others in the field, those I wish to partner with and those I don't choose is this: All of us operate from one of two paradigms; abundance or lack mentality. A belief in lack wills us to compete, vieing for what we believe to be limited resources, pitting us against our peers/neighbors. Personally, I believe that abundance in all forms is a natural state of affairs in the Universe, that we are limited only by our perceptions. The competitive (fear-based) mental model teaches that there is only win/lose, and that in order for one of us to win, the other must suffer. That has never been something that fit for me, although it is indeed the most popular "conventional wisdom" with which our culture operates. I think we can see right now where this has taken us! Instead, what feels supportive to me is a collaborative model of being, or win/win, which teaches that because there is plenty for all of us, I need never fear losing anything, that all my needs will be met. Because this is what I believe, this is what I experience.. Have I had clients go elsewhere? For sure, AND I have also had clients leave other therapists of their own accord to come to me. I believe there is more than one LMT that is right for everyone, and I'm happy if someone who was coming to me goes elsewhere, knowing that I've done my best on their behalf, and that I can't be the best match for everybody. There have been a few clients that I wished to "fire," and interestingly, they left of their own accord. I do have a couple of other therapists that I have referred out to because of their specialties, and these LMTs do reciprocate, but I've never considered it a snub if they don't because I'm not referring with attachment to receiving. About your experience Marissa, I did attempt to build a relationship with another local therapist with whom I did not feel an equal exchange of energy. By that, I mean that she too was hard to reach, ran late to her appointments with me, etc. Although she is quite professional in her business practices, it became more of an effort to schedule so we just naturally didn't continue. On the other hand. I now regularly exchange and network with two other therapists, both of whom share my 100% intention to schedule with one another a month in advance, return e-mails and calls. If you are clear on the type of reciprocal relationships you want to attract, and qualtities of other therapists that are important to you, (win/win?) then it will be so for you. Thanks for bring up the subject of oneness vs. separateness!
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EXACTLY! This is exactly what should be a standard in operations! Treating it as a win/win for all parties involved. Especially the clients that are referred to and from each party. Finding another therapist, obviously in my area;), that shares these same views may prove to be tricky. Perhaps my standards are too high in treatment/business operation styles? The search continues....
Ellen Stetson said:My experience with others in the field, those I wish to partner with and those I don't choose is this: All of us operate from one of two paradigms; abundance or lack mentality. A belief in lack wills us to compete, vieing for what we believe to be limited resources, pitting us against our peers/neighbors. Personally, I believe that abundance in all forms is a natural state of affairs in the Universe, that we are limited only by our perceptions. The competitive (fear-based) mental model teaches that there is only win/lose, and that in order for one of us to win, the other must suffer. That has never been something that fit for me, although it is indeed the most popular "conventional wisdom" with which our culture operates. I think we can see right now where this has taken us! Instead, what feels supportive to me is a collaborative model of being, or win/win, which teaches that because there is plenty for all of us, I need never fear losing anything, that all my needs will be met. Because this is what I believe, this is what I experience.. Have I had clients go elsewhere? For sure, AND I have also had clients leave other therapists of their own accord to come to me. I believe there is more than one LMT that is right for everyone, and I'm happy if someone who was coming to me goes elsewhere, knowing that I've done my best on their behalf, and that I can't be the best match for everybody. There have been a few clients that I wished to "fire," and interestingly, they left of their own accord. I do have a couple of other therapists that I have referred out to because of their specialties, and these LMTs do reciprocate, but I've never considered it a snub if they don't because I'm not referring with attachment to receiving. About your experience Marissa, I did attempt to build a relationship with another local therapist with whom I did not feel an equal exchange of energy. By that, I mean that she too was hard to reach, ran late to her appointments with me, etc. Although she is quite professional in her business practices, it became more of an effort to schedule so we just naturally didn't continue. On the other hand. I now regularly exchange and network with two other therapists, both of whom share my 100% intention to schedule with one another a month in advance, return e-mails and calls. If you are clear on the type of reciprocal relationships you want to attract, and qualtities of other therapists that are important to you, (win/win?) then it will be so for you. Thanks for bring up the subject of oneness vs. separateness!
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Permalink Reply by Laura Allen on
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It's too bad that you have had those kinds of experiences.
I will borrow a phrase from my NC colleague, Felicia Brown: Collaborative Competition. Felicia and I are what you would refer to as collaborative competitors. We're both CE providers. We teach many of the same classes. We've both run big successful businesses, and we've both had our share of hard knocks. We're in overlapping circles, though we live halfway across the state from each other. If I was sick and scheduled to teach a class, I'd call on her to pinch hit in a heartbeat. We spread each other's blogs. We refer people to each other.
I'm not worried about any competition from other therapists; I'd prefer to network as well, and I do a lot of it. There's enough aching bodies to go around. There are enough employment and entrepreneurial opportunities to go around. When my clinic's full, I refer to other therapists in town. If we get a walk-in we can't accommodate, which is a frequent occurrence, I'll get on the phone and try to find the client another therapist on the spot. I loaned a competitor a jar of massage cream last week. I'll call him if I need one.
I don't think you have the plague. You have just been unfortunate enough to meet up w/lackadaisical people who are insecure and proprietary about their clients. You'll have better luck soon. Just keep looking!
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