a community of practitioners

HELP! Suggestions on "firing" a client?

I started working with this client about three years ago. She's been a pretty regular monthly client who started coming weekly after she had a double knee replacement last Spring. She is as negative as they come, and I always dread seeing her. She's just a terrible drain. (When my dad passed away, she told me that my trip back to Colorado for the funeral and helping my mom was "inconvenient" for her.) I kept working with her because the money was regular and I hoped I was doing her some good.

A couple of months ago another therapist joined our group and I only have the massage space every other Saturday instead of every week. This didn't suit her. She was also upset because I wouldn't come in more than an hour early for her--7AM! She wanted to start her day with a massage when she wanted one. She threatened to find another massage therapist if I didn't comply with her request, and I told her that was a good idea and wished her well.

I thought that was the end. It's been lovely not to have her coming in, but she left a message today asking to schedule an appointment. I haven't returned her call because I don't know what to say. How do you tell someone, "My life is so much better without you in it that I won't work on you?"

Anyone ever dealt with this kind of thing before? What would you say?

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by ASIS Massage Education on August 20, 2009 at 2:06pm

Hi Laura,

Bottom line is that your boundaries aren't being respected here so I'd write to her and say something like, "Thank you the opportunity but my boundaries aren't being respected and I need to end our therapeutic relationship for the following reasons. First of all, I wasn't respected when I needed time to tend to my family's funeral. Secondly, by asking me to come in to see you outside of my posted hours at 7am and then being upset about it. I've been kind enough to seek out new therapeutic resources for you and I'd like to refer you to the following (i.e. AMTA or other therapists in the area). Please know that I wish you well with another massage therapist." I think it's fine to be clear, direct and specific about why you're ending the therapeutic relationship and kind of you to take the time to give her new leads for another therapist.

Bradley Blalock, LMT
ASIS Massage Education

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Shirley Henderson on August 20, 2009 at 4:02pm

Julianne,

This sounds like a growth opportunity.

If you want to be true to yourself, you cannot do it by making weak excuses.

I don't know, however, that you need to point out her failings to her. That might be too personal for the business relationship you both have.

.

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Felicia Brown on August 20, 2009 at 5:17pm

Julianne -

I just wrote about this on this site today. Check out my blog post at http://www.massageprofessionals.com/profiles/blogs/making-your-mass....

One thing I would suggest is sticking to your boundaries about your hours and days of operation. Clearly they don't suit her and eventually she'll find someone who will work with her schedule. But if you move into full break-up mode, why not just say the obvious when you call her back. "Sally, it's been so great to have you as a client all these years and I really appreciate your business and loyalty. However, I don't really feel like I am serving your needs very well anymore since our schedules are so different and often conflict. If you'd like me to refer you to another therapist whose work is similar or who has more flexible hours, then I'd be glad to do so. Would you like me to do that?"

Hopefully she will say yes and you can pass her on easily. But if she insists on scheduling with you, I encourage you to stand your ground and just stick with the theme that you no longer serve her needs and cannot responsibly or ethically continue to see her as you know you are not really benefitting her. If she keeps calling after that, I think I'd just ignore the calls or have one of the other folks in your office call her to schedule with them as you are "too busy." There is really nothing more you can say to her personally and if you call her after the "break-up" all she'll likely do is try to wear you down.

Best of luck!

Felicia

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Julianne on August 25, 2009 at 6:14pm

I've been out of town with limited internet, so I haven't replied before now.

I did call her back and (fortunately!!!!) got her machine. I just told her that I was unable to assist her with the massage she requested and I hoped that she could find someone willing to work at that time of day. She doesn't use the computer, so suggesting an online referral wouldn't help. I hope that was final enough (again). From now on, I'm not returning her calls.

I appreciate the idea of being positive with her no matter what and asking the questions, but if I asked this woman what her favorite place on earth was, she'd say, "What kind of stupid question is that? You're working on my knees!" It would go on and on like that if I tried to explain or encourage. That's energy I refuse to use deflecting that kind of negativity.

Thanks to everyone for the advice! I'm really enjoying this board--such great people posting such positive information!

PS I love that everyone on the ABMP site suggested the AMTA to refer my problem client to! :-)