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Cancer Death of Clients

I have several clients with cancer. To date two have passed. I would like to continue to help these people, but I find it difficult emotionally. Any advice on how to continue doing massage for these clients without my feelings affecting them in any way.

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Susan G. Salvo on July 29, 2009 at 7:47am

Has hospice been called in for either client?

Permalink Reply by Heather Coren on July 29, 2009 at 9:52am

Yes, they have been.

Permalink Reply by Susan G. Salvo on July 29, 2009 at 10:01am

Then do whatever makes your clients happy.

All reasons for NOT doing certain techniques or postponing massage do not apply for the terminally ill.

I like to think about hospice as the midwives for the dying.

If your clients are asking for massage, they are needing to be touched and nurtured. Do whatever you can to make them happy.

Teach their caregivers to massage your clients too. What a gift these people have in someone like you.

Permalink Reply by Dianne Gilbert on August 6, 2009 at 8:41am

Heather, I am a nurse massage therapist. My nursing background is in oncology and I treat several clients with cancer, I am also currently working as a hospice nurse. You will ALWAYS be affected by these clients. IF you weren't, you would be very unusual. It will get easier to handle the feelings the more you experience them. As we care for these clients, we build a relationship, albeit professional, it's still a relationship. Know that you are making a difference in these clients lives and helping them to enjoy a time when many cannot find any enjoyment. You do a good thing my friend - don't give up and keep the faith.

Permalink Reply by Heather Coren on August 13, 2009 at 10:04pm

Thanks for the words of encouragement. They certainly help, knowing that I am not unusual in this respect is somehow comforting and encouraging.

Dianne Gilbert said:

Heather, I am a nurse massage therapist. My nursing background is in oncology and I treat several clients with cancer, I am also currently working as a hospice nurse. You will ALWAYS be affected by these clients. IF you weren't, you would be very unusual. It will get easier to handle the feelings the more you experience them. As we care for these clients, we build a relationship, albeit professional, it's still a relationship. Know that you are making a difference in these clients lives and helping them to enjoy a time when many cannot find any enjoyment. You do a good thing my friend - don't give up and keep the faith.

Permalink Reply by Rebecca B Adams on August 28, 2009 at 5:12pm

Well said, Susan! Whatever we can do to aid their transition is a noble thing. It's not about a cure or trying to prolong their life at this point - it's about giving comfort any way you can, and letting them know they are not making this journey to the door alone.. It is hard, so hard, sometimes, but it is worth it. You just have to give yourself permission to own your feelings, and feel them at the appropriate time. Then you wade back in to be of service..

Susan G. Salvo said:

Then do whatever makes your clients happy.

All reasons for NOT doing certain techniques or postponing massage do not apply for the terminally ill.

I like to think about hospice as the midwives for the dying.

If your clients are asking for massage, they are needing to be touched and nurtured. Do whatever you can to make them happy.

Teach their caregivers to massage your clients too. What a gift these people have in someone like you.

Permalink Reply by David J. Razo on August 28, 2009 at 11:38pm

Connecting to patients is important. Showing compassion, empathy, nurturing, and showing that you really care can make a big differences in the patients day and in their recovery process. Showing emotion is sometime primary healthcare lacks....everything is sterile and emotionless. This healing process maybe as much about you then it is to the patient. Embrace, reflect and learn from the experience. It'll make you a better massage therapist. Thank you for your work!

Permalink Reply by Kelly Grounds on September 3, 2009 at 10:08pm

I never considered myself a 'religious' person. However, since doing oncology massage I have become very spiritual. Many times, clients will ask me to 'pray' with/for them and I find myself doing an impromptu prayer. I let these people know that they have affected me and I will most certainly miss them. Many of them feel so alone, that I think it comforts them to know that even this near-stranger has been changed because of them and will miss them. I've lost several clients and it never gets any easier. I miss them as I would any friend or good acquaintance. But I also value living and my loved ones even more. I think when I reach the point that it doesn't affect me anymore on a regular basis, I need to move to a different focus for my massage.

Permalink Reply by Heather Coren on November 7, 2009 at 7:52am

Thanks for this encouragement. It certainly helps

David J. Razo said:

Connecting to patients is important. Showing compassion, empathy, nurturing, and showing that you really care can make a big differences in the patients day and in their recovery process. Showing emotion is sometime primary healthcare lacks....everything is sterile and emotionless. This healing process maybe as much about you then it is to the patient. Embrace, reflect and learn from the experience. It'll make you a better massage therapist. Thank you for your work!

Permalink Reply by Heather Coren on November 7, 2009 at 7:56am

Thank you for helping me feel that I am not alone in this and knowing that there are others who understand helps to continue in this field without regret.

Kelly Grounds said:

I never considered myself a 'religious' person. However, since doing oncology massage I have become very spiritual. Many times, clients will ask me to 'pray' with/for them and I find myself doing an impromptu prayer. I let these people know that they have affected me and I will most certainly miss them. Many of them feel so alone, that I think it comforts them to know that even this near-stranger has been changed because of them and will miss them. I've lost several clients and it never gets any easier. I miss them as I would any friend or good acquaintance. But I also value living and my loved ones even more. I think when I reach the point that it doesn't affect me anymore on a regular basis, I need to move to a different focus for my massage.