Male Massage Therapist at the Workplace

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Jorge Cisneros on February 13, 2013 at 4:07pm

Ilan, sorry that you are facing these challenges. My first suggestion is to drop the attitude of getting angry... yes it could be frustrating, but you most understand that is not helping you in any way. Second, if your manager is not willing to help you, then you should really wonder if you are at the right place. I've worked for places in which regardless of facing the same challenge at least I had the manager or people booking trying to give a hand. Once you get a client really make your work to speak for itself. People WILL return for a great massage. Make sure your approach is always safe for women and they feel comfortable during the whole session. If that's not the right place for you to wok go ahead and look elsewhere. Many times to specialize in some modalities could be helpful, such as sports & orthopedic. Is there a chance to start doing some chair massage so people can start feeling your work? Many times people prefer men for doing deep tissue as well. So you are not the first male therapist facing this and won't be the last. Good luck to you!

Permalink Reply by Mitch Meiners, NCLMBT #11161 on February 14, 2013 at 4:21am

I was aware of the preference of some clients for female therapists over male therapists during my coursework, but I'm so very glad it didn't deter me from completing my program. Knowing about it and experiencing it are certainly very different feelings as it directly impacts your bottom line and can influence your feeling of self worth.

I have been lucky enough to work for myself doing mobile massage since I received my license last June, so I get to choose the clients I want to work on and those that I do not. It began slow but has been worth the investment. I now have my own studio since January 2013 and it's twice as nice as that of any of my competitors. Because of the nature of mobile massage, most of the clients I have are male which is just fine with me as obviously i know the male body best as I have one (lol).

Like many businesses in my area I plan to cater to one gender. There are many medical centers, etc who do the same and seem to be successful.

However, given what you've said about working for someone else and not being scheduled for massages is VERY wrong! If the management felt you were worthy to hire you then they ought to have instituted a policy to fairly distribute appointments.

Again, some clients prefer female therapists sure, but the scheduler needs to adopt the business practice of asking the clients when they call to book to ask them if they are ok with working with a male therapist to at least attempt to balance the number of session. If management isn't willing to do that you won't be working there much longer anyway and it's water under the bridge.

You are welcome to contact me if you'd like to further discuss the implication of this discussion.

Be the change you want to see!

All the best.

Permalink Reply by Ilan Lagnado on February 14, 2013 at 11:03pm

Thank you so much Jorge and Mitch for your replies. I appreciate your support & needed it. I have started working on a letter to my manager that is describing the problem and ways to try and balance the work load between male & female therapists in our spa. With your permission I'd like to use some of your ideas and even wordings that captured the idea I am trying to express perfectly.

One more thing to think about..I am a bit disappointed that at time of writing these words out of 14 views of this post only you two replied..just something to think about. Aloha. Ilan.

Permalink Reply by David Onne on February 22, 2013 at 4:20pm

Ilan, when I first started out of school, I too found it frustrating when I would only get the "Male request" massages.  Honestly, I felt that since the owners were female, they would take all the clients to fill up their schedule first and since I was the only male, that they would only give me the male requests. I believe that the problem was partially because the people who were answering the phones were specifically asking clients when they made their appointment "would you prefer a male or female therapist?" The client doesn't really stop and think about it until that question is asked specifically, and usually gives the stereotypical answer.  A male in this industry really has to gain the trust of clients, which is almost impossible to do unless the appointment staff vouch for you.  I eventually left the job because they couldn't keep my schedule full, and I too was tired of only getting one or two massages a week. 

When I moved to another spa, I made sure to offer massages to the people answering the phones and making the appointments so that they had experienced my work and could explain and recommend me as a therapist to potential clients.  I made sure that they understood how my massage techniques worked and in what situations clients would find my work beneficial.  Everyone else who worked at that spa was female as well, but they would recommend me mostly for deep therapeutic massage for benefits to reduce or relieve chronic pain.  I have felt that my work has increasingly been geared towards more clinical massage as opposed to relaxation massage, and I have thrived in that niche.  I definitely noticed a difference when the booking staff would simply say, "Ok we have availabilities with either 'Karen' or 'David' at ___ times.  Karen specializes in ____ massage, and is great with legs, arms, hands, and feet, and David specializes in ____ massage, and is great with head, neck, shoulders, and back"  That way the client has the ability to weigh the differences of the therapists to find one that actually fits their needs, rather than being specifically asked "Do you want a male or female therapist."

I agree with Jorge, though, you have to change your attitude from being shortchanged and undervalued, even if it is true that you are.  It will affect your work and your clients will be able to sense that you are not happy working where you are.  If you are truly unhappy where you work, it will subconsciously be noticeable.  If the owners don't make changes and don't respect you as a therapist, then move on and find some place that will.

Permalink Reply by Calvin T. on March 24, 2013 at 7:05pm

Aloha IIan, I see how you feel since my first few years and even up until now, but I've learned never take it personally. I respect clients have a choice to choose male/female therapists and to me if they are not comfortable with me, then I won't be comfortable working on them either. I felt sometimes it was disadvantage for us as male therapists but I aware before entering the field but I've learn to be on persistence and patience, plus one have to be driven and passion of what they do.  Clients eventually will come to know you because of your crafts, caring, dedication... but it takes time. Same as you answer my post, what's I'm saying is that not the pictures that they want to see, but more or less I felt their intention were looking for gender or look specifically rather than skills and qualification. If you feel the place is not supporting you, perhaps you need to move on like the rest of the other posts. I can go on and on about this... Feel free to message me if you interest to discuss further. All the best to you!