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The Afterglow

Does anyone else experience this. You work on a new or beloved regular client and have a particularly great session. You know what I mean? The energy transfer is so free flowing. It is hard to delineate where your contact ends and they begin? It is transcendent and the music is flowing and the aromatherapy is perfect. Then the session is over. You meet them in the outer office and offer water and the usual good bye routine. It is almost awkward. Like running into an old boyfriend. The spiritual intimacy that can occur during a massage is quite powerful. The clients are almost embarrassed to meet eye to eye afterward and shuffle a bit. Please tell me that I am not the only one to experience this!!! It is though we have both shared the soft underbelly of our existence and now are back to acquaintances! I know physicians that experience this and some just keep a very sterile distance and others close the gap more in compassion, but not too familiar. This experience seems to have amped up since my Reiki training and I am even more aware and focused on the energy transfer. Some people are very receptive and others are closed and 'stoney". I am not quite sure how to ease the discomfort the client experiences. I can sense it and am ambivalent on how to transition there. I don't ever want to come across as overly caring (you know what I mean) and yet don't want to be cold either. I don't want to be misconstrued either way! I am thinking of some sort of 'decompression'. Perhaps setting up a more private 'recovery' area just outside my treatment room, where we can sit and chat while they get their bearings back? Any thoughts are welcome.

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Comment by Allison Kay Poteet on November 18, 2009 at 10:20am: My husband has a BS in science/physical therapy and in the medical field and wants to SEE something. WE have had heated discussions about the validity of herbs, supplements and woo....reilki before I took the classes and become a master. The concrete thinkers are sooooo big on studies. Though studies are good, studies require money and usually something tangible! The people that generally find the data from a study useful and profitable are those with big money and much to gain. (not to mention studies can be influenced for a particular result). Unfortunately there is not enough curious billionaires to support anything that is reputable enough for the closed minded to accept. I have found that empirical evidence is most valuable in our profession. The people who know, know.... and the rest may be privilege to enlightenment or dwell in the darkness of prejudice. In the words of a clever preacher I heard recently, "many of you don't even believe in praying for the sick, unless you get sick enough, then you'll try anything!" The first time I offered reiki to my husband he recoiled from the intense heat. Scientific or medical studies may not 'prove' anything to the general public or medical society...be HE knows there is something there! LOL!
I like that one bible verse that says "let those who have ears to hear...." my thoughts exactly. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make em drink! oh yeah! just made an appointment for a massage/reiki session!!!!

Comment by Mike Hinkle on November 17, 2009 at 12:56pm: It really is sad, the state humanity, some have arrived at.

Empathy is so powerful through our touch. Students and newly licensed therapists are always asking, what the heat is, they feel. There needs to be so much more study. But study is difficult. When I have tried to think about it or internally acknowledge its existence, it flees. It is as if, left alone to exist, it will, but if approached to be studied, it won't allow it.

Comment by Allison Kay Poteet on November 17, 2009 at 12:38pm: I like it and it is sooooo good to know I am not alone in this. There seems to be such a lack of compassion and caring in the world...that people do confuse kindness with romantic attatchment! Hence Nightengale's syndrome! Sometimes it is just sad to see the starvation for human compassion, and touch

Comment by Mike Hinkle on November 17, 2009 at 9:49am: Hi Allison,

Fantastic question and situation that is anything but uncommon. Almost all my clients were women and it was very obvious sometimes. When I first started I had a counter and basically tried to have their water ready and ask them questions about the massage. It kept the awkwardness to a minimum, with the counter between us.

Sharing moments like that with some clients, that really never allow themselves to be touched, can be sometimes misunderstood. Taking time to talk and for them to gain their bearings while drinking the water helped too. It was during this, rebooking time, that trust was built. I don't know about another private area. I didn't think about that. I tried to slowly bring them out of that moment so they would want to get back there.

It is a special moment for both therapist and client, but you must make sure about transference issues and then get ready for your next appointment.