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Rob, maybe you are right...it is about each person making a decision about how they will approach their massage sessions and whether there will be any "sexual thoughts" floating around the table where the client is and the therapist is giving the massage. What a person puts into thoughts, usually shows up in the client or LMT and for anyone.
All I wanted for you to do was clarify your comments which you did and I thank you. And YES, sexual connotations may be in the minds of the clients, but that does nothing to promote a session that is focused on the particular needs which the client saw you in the first place.
We still have a great deal of people who will NOT seek massage and whether it is because they fear sexual context or don't like how their bodies look, or whatever...having a clear definition of what massage really is will make all massage sessions more pleasant and will bring them back to get more.
Thanks, Laura. I think you may now see I'm only advocating that therapists use their own judgment and knowledge of their relationship with their client to make an experience that works for both of them.
This could probably be the start of another thread topic but if you don't mind I'm curious about your thoughts and other MT's thoughts on whether they view their business as a clinical service or a lifestyle service or both.
Let me pose some hypotheticals ALL with these assumptions: A) the drape is on, b) no one suggests anything remotely sexual, C) the client has no physical ailments, no sore muscles, no back problems, no spasms. Person one is a housewife who doesn't get out much and doesn't have a lot of friends to talk to and she likes to treat herself to some special time and she talks with you a lot while she's on the table. Person two is a single man who does not have a girlfriend or wife. He's very lonely and while he has not said anything to you he secretly just loves the fact that someone will touch him for an hour. Person three is either a man or woman but they are fairly wealthy with plenty of disposable income and they just love the fact that they can use their wealth to hire people to pamper them the way Roman royalty had servants to wave fans on them, bathe them, dress them. It is simply stroking person three's ego. Again, they have not said this to you but you have a crystal ball and you can see the real reason they came to you.
Do you want these hypothetical customers knowing what you now know about them now or do you want them to go away? If the lonely guy keeps his mouth shut and keeps his motivations secret is that OK but if he tells you what he is thinking does it get creepy? Does the third person offend you or even flat out piss you off because you're not a tool to stroke their ego but rather you are a highly trained clinician that helps people with their ailments?
Thinking with a business hat on I think this is a trap that independent MT’s fall into. They very much want to justify the necessity of the service they provide but yet they struggle to do so, they struggle to get paid well, and they even struggle to get clients to choose them. They are frustrated by the fact that many spas have no problems getting people to pay huge money for lesser services and MT’s won’t be accepted by the medical community and certainly can rarely be paid by a customer’s insurance. MT’s frequently get caught in limbo between fluffy spa and doctor’s office. So who are you? Are you a clinician or a service provider? Or, can you be both?
My personal take on it is that MT’s think of themselves more as clinicians and most potential clients think of MT’s as service providers. If the potential client needs a clinician they would likely start with their doctor. The doctor would refer them to a PT or a Chiropractor where massage services are available and it all rolls with insurance paying part or all. If a potential client just wants to be King or Queen for an hour or two they head off to the spa and the beautiful rooms and sauna and all the servants getting them things.
Where does that leave the individual MT? There is one thing you can offer that a Doctor or Spa can’t and one thing only. It’s a personal relationship. If you have that relationship and you understand and accept your clients for who they are and why they come they just might see you before their doctor when they strain a muscle or feel stressed. They might come to you to feel like a King or Queen because they know you can make them feel that way and you’re a whole lot cheaper and you can use your relationship knowledge to tailor that experience for them….this person likes to be bundled, this person doesn’t like drapes so much, woman A likes breast massage but woman B wants no part of it, person C hates being cold, person D has religious beliefs that have to be respected. Your power and advantage as an individual MT is that you can learn and know your clients better than anyone and the more accepting you can comfortably be of their preferences the more customer base you will have. The more demand you have gives you the opportunity to ask for higher rates.
I do advise that MT’s make the clinical argument less because if it’s clinical the prospect is going to go see their doctor. I’m not saying there is no clinical value or an MT can’t help. I just think most people will see a doctor first if they think they are injured and then the MT is out of the loop.
I think MT’s need to also steel a page (but not the whole book) from spas and make the experience as luxurious as they REASONABLY can. The room decoration, the temperature, the lighting, they quality of sheets, water, fruit. What about a clean shower afterwards to wash off the oils if they are climbing back into nice clothes? Whatever you can REASONABLY provide will do wonders for your business.
Laura K Dylla said:Rob, maybe you are right...it is about each person making a decision about how they will approach their massage sessions and whether there will be any "sexual thoughts" floating around the table where the client is and the therapist is giving the massage. What a person puts into thoughts, usually shows up in the client or LMT and for anyone.
All I wanted for you to do was clarify your comments which you did and I thank you. And YES, sexual connotations may be in the minds of the clients, but that does nothing to promote a session that is focused on the particular needs which the client saw you in the first place.
We still have a great deal of people who will NOT seek massage and whether it is because they fear sexual context or don't like how their bodies look, or whatever...having a clear definition of what massage really is will make all massage sessions more pleasant and will bring them back to get more.
Thanks, Laura. I think you may now see I'm only advocating that therapists use their own judgment and knowledge of their relationship with their client to make an experience that works for both of them.
This could probably be the start of another thread topic but if you don't mind I'm curious about your thoughts and other MT's thoughts on whether they view their business as a clinical service or a lifestyle service or both.
Let me pose some hypotheticals ALL with these assumptions: A) the drape is on, b) no one suggests anything remotely sexual, C) the client has no physical ailments, no sore muscles, no back problems, no spasms. Person one is a housewife who doesn't get out much and doesn't have a lot of friends to talk to and she likes to treat herself to some special time and she talks with you a lot while she's on the table. Person two is a single man who does not have a girlfriend or wife. He's very lonely and while he has not said anything to you he secretly just loves the fact that someone will touch him for an hour. Person three is either a man or woman but they are fairly wealthy with plenty of disposable income and they just love the fact that they can use their wealth to hire people to pamper them the way Roman royalty had servants to wave fans on them, bathe them, dress them. It is simply stroking person three's ego. Again, they have not said this to you but you have a crystal ball and you can see the real reason they came to you.
Do you want these hypothetical customers knowing what you now know about them now or do you want them to go away? If the lonely guy keeps his mouth shut and keeps his motivations secret is that OK but if he tells you what he is thinking does it get creepy? Does the third person offend you or even flat out piss you off because you're not a tool to stroke their ego but rather you are a highly trained clinician that helps people with their ailments?
Thinking with a business hat on I think this is a trap that independent MT’s fall into. They very much want to justify the necessity of the service they provide but yet they struggle to do so, they struggle to get paid well, and they even struggle to get clients to choose them. They are frustrated by the fact that many spas have no problems getting people to pay huge money for lesser services and MT’s won’t be accepted by the medical community and certainly can rarely be paid by a customer’s insurance. MT’s frequently get caught in limbo between fluffy spa and doctor’s office. So who are you? Are you a clinician or a service provider? Or, can you be both?
My personal take on it is that MT’s think of themselves more as clinicians and most potential clients think of MT’s as service providers. If the potential client needs a clinician they would likely start with their doctor. The doctor would refer them to a PT or a Chiropractor where massage services are available and it all rolls with insurance paying part or all. If a potential client just wants to be King or Queen for an hour or two they head off to the spa and the beautiful rooms and sauna and all the servants getting them things.
Where does that leave the individual MT? There is one thing you can offer that a Doctor or Spa can’t and one thing only. It’s a personal relationship. If you have that relationship and you understand and accept your clients for who they are and why they come they just might see you before their doctor when they strain a muscle or feel stressed. They might come to you to feel like a King or Queen because they know you can make them feel that way and you’re a whole lot cheaper and you can use your relationship knowledge to tailor that experience for them….this person likes to be bundled, this person doesn’t like drapes so much, woman A likes breast massage but woman B wants no part of it, person C hates being cold, person D has religious beliefs that have to be respected. Your power and advantage as an individual MT is that you can learn and know your clients better than anyone and the more accepting you can comfortably be of their preferences the more customer base you will have. The more demand you have gives you the opportunity to ask for higher rates.
I do advise that MT’s make the clinical argument less because if it’s clinical the prospect is going to go see their doctor. I’m not saying there is no clinical value or an MT can’t help. I just think most people will see a doctor first if they think they are injured and then the MT is out of the loop.
I think MT’s need to also steel a page (but not the whole book) from spas and make the experience as luxurious as they REASONABLY can. The room decoration, the temperature, the lighting, they quality of sheets, water, fruit. What about a clean shower afterwards to wash off the oils if they are climbing back into nice clothes? Whatever you can REASONABLY provide will do wonders for your business.
Laura K Dylla said:Rob, maybe you are right...it is about each person making a decision about how they will approach their massage sessions and whether there will be any "sexual thoughts" floating around the table where the client is and the therapist is giving the massage. What a person puts into thoughts, usually shows up in the client or LMT and for anyone.
All I wanted for you to do was clarify your comments which you did and I thank you. And YES, sexual connotations may be in the minds of the clients, but that does nothing to promote a session that is focused on the particular needs which the client saw you in the first place.
We still have a great deal of people who will NOT seek massage and whether it is because they fear sexual context or don't like how their bodies look, or whatever...having a clear definition of what massage really is will make all massage sessions more pleasant and will bring them back to get more.
I think you should break this into another thread so we can have a more specific response to this.
However...it made me think about a recent new client. She is the aunt of a repeat client. The repeat client bought a session for her and I went to the aunt's house to do the session. The repeat client also bought a session for her grandmother. So I had 2 sessions at their home...both very different in intentions.
The grandmother session (she was in her 80's or so) did not speak much English. She was frail and had never had a massage before. I found my session to take on a very nurturing type of intention. It happened very naturally without much thought on my part.
The aunt was in her 50s and had only had 2 massages previously. 1 was in a 4 star resort and 1 was at a ME.
Afterward she and I talked for a bit. She loves the session and shared with me how my session brought her back to her memories of the 4 star resort session. She said she had been very disappointed in the ME session since it was after her first experience at the 4 star. She went on about how incredible my session was and how she felt it was a real healing that I do. I talked to her about building up my "practice". She responded with how it was more of a "ministry" that I was providing in the healing that I was doing.
I had never thought of it like that before. And yet in a way...I think she is right. It's not just a clinical thing or a luxury thing. The power of touch is a HEALING thing...for anyone. We all know the studies of orphaned babies and how they develop or don't develop based on the amount or lack of touch they receive.
Anyhow...I thought I'd throw that in the mix. I'm not "preaching" of some miracle work, but I did like her stance on massage and what we really do when we touch another human being...mind, body and spirit.
Rob E said:Thanks, Laura. I think you may now see I'm only advocating that therapists use their own judgment and knowledge of their relationship with their client to make an experience that works for both of them.
This could probably be the start of another thread topic but if you don't mind I'm curious about your thoughts and other MT's thoughts on whether they view their business as a clinical service or a lifestyle service or both.
Let me pose some hypotheticals ALL with these assumptions: A) the drape is on, b) no one suggests anything remotely sexual, C) the client has no physical ailments, no sore muscles, no back problems, no spasms. Person one is a housewife who doesn't get out much and doesn't have a lot of friends to talk to and she likes to treat herself to some special time and she talks with you a lot while she's on the table. Person two is a single man who does not have a girlfriend or wife. He's very lonely and while he has not said anything to you he secretly just loves the fact that someone will touch him for an hour. Person three is either a man or woman but they are fairly wealthy with plenty of disposable income and they just love the fact that they can use their wealth to hire people to pamper them the way Roman royalty had servants to wave fans on them, bathe them, dress them. It is simply stroking person three's ego. Again, they have not said this to you but you have a crystal ball and you can see the real reason they came to you.
Do you want these hypothetical customers knowing what you now know about them now or do you want them to go away? If the lonely guy keeps his mouth shut and keeps his motivations secret is that OK but if he tells you what he is thinking does it get creepy? Does the third person offend you or even flat out piss you off because you're not a tool to stroke their ego but rather you are a highly trained clinician that helps people with their ailments?
Thinking with a business hat on I think this is a trap that independent MT’s fall into. They very much want to justify the necessity of the service they provide but yet they struggle to do so, they struggle to get paid well, and they even struggle to get clients to choose them. They are frustrated by the fact that many spas have no problems getting people to pay huge money for lesser services and MT’s won’t be accepted by the medical community and certainly can rarely be paid by a customer’s insurance. MT’s frequently get caught in limbo between fluffy spa and doctor’s office. So who are you? Are you a clinician or a service provider? Or, can you be both?
My personal take on it is that MT’s think of themselves more as clinicians and most potential clients think of MT’s as service providers. If the potential client needs a clinician they would likely start with their doctor. The doctor would refer them to a PT or a Chiropractor where massage services are available and it all rolls with insurance paying part or all. If a potential client just wants to be King or Queen for an hour or two they head off to the spa and the beautiful rooms and sauna and all the servants getting them things.
Where does that leave the individual MT? There is one thing you can offer that a Doctor or Spa can’t and one thing only. It’s a personal relationship. If you have that relationship and you understand and accept your clients for who they are and why they come they just might see you before their doctor when they strain a muscle or feel stressed. They might come to you to feel like a King or Queen because they know you can make them feel that way and you’re a whole lot cheaper and you can use your relationship knowledge to tailor that experience for them….this person likes to be bundled, this person doesn’t like drapes so much, woman A likes breast massage but woman B wants no part of it, person C hates being cold, person D has religious beliefs that have to be respected. Your power and advantage as an individual MT is that you can learn and know your clients better than anyone and the more accepting you can comfortably be of their preferences the more customer base you will have. The more demand you have gives you the opportunity to ask for higher rates.
I do advise that MT’s make the clinical argument less because if it’s clinical the prospect is going to go see their doctor. I’m not saying there is no clinical value or an MT can’t help. I just think most people will see a doctor first if they think they are injured and then the MT is out of the loop.
I think MT’s need to also steel a page (but not the whole book) from spas and make the experience as luxurious as they REASONABLY can. The room decoration, the temperature, the lighting, they quality of sheets, water, fruit. What about a clean shower afterwards to wash off the oils if they are climbing back into nice clothes? Whatever you can REASONABLY provide will do wonders for your business.
Laura K Dylla said:Rob, maybe you are right...it is about each person making a decision about how they will approach their massage sessions and whether there will be any "sexual thoughts" floating around the table where the client is and the therapist is giving the massage. What a person puts into thoughts, usually shows up in the client or LMT and for anyone.
All I wanted for you to do was clarify your comments which you did and I thank you. And YES, sexual connotations may be in the minds of the clients, but that does nothing to promote a session that is focused on the particular needs which the client saw you in the first place.
We still have a great deal of people who will NOT seek massage and whether it is because they fear sexual context or don't like how their bodies look, or whatever...having a clear definition of what massage really is will make all massage sessions more pleasant and will bring them back to get more.
i have found that if someone wants "extra" the draping or lack there of in no way affects their attempt to persuede you into doing what they want. it falls into the "comfort zone" catagory.... for instance, i have a client with a foot fetish, so i dont massage her feet because her intense response to foot massages makes me uncomfortable. dont ever feel bad that something makes you uncomfortable or feel stupid for turning someone down. this is the best job ever ! doing things you are uncomfortable with no matter how inane will affect how you feel about working.
This sort of magical thinking that there is a correlation between draping and ethical behavior of a massage therapists is.the same logic as, "He is a man of cloth, I will leave my child in his charge no questions asked." If someones energy is creepy or unethical no holy underwear or blankets will change that dynamic. That is a no brainer.
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