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Giving Out Massage Advice
A younger therapist has been coming to me for bodywork and business advice...non-stop questions while I work on her, which I freely answered. I wanted to be encouraging. Very recently she has opened a location of her own and is now posting fliers for her business around town - including in the same building where my practice is.
I feel a bit betrayed - any others ever have this happen? How did you handle it?
I feel a bit betrayed - any others ever have this happen? How did you handle it?
Views: 181
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Julie Onofrio on
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No but I would take them down. Posting flyers all over town is really a waste of time and not very targeted so hopefully she won't be very successful. I would talk to her and tell her you feel uncomfortable.
Do you still work on her? I wouldn't talk to her anymore while working on her either and if she wants business advice to make an appointment for a coaching session.
Thats a tough one! You want to be helpful but then get slammed for doing so...
Julie
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Permalink Reply by Artemesia on
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Thanks - I feel better knowing it isn't just me being "selfish"! :)
As far as posting fliers around town, I sure do it on occasion...
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Permalink Reply by Hillary Kate Arrieta on
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Stop giving her advice during the session. That should be reserved for massage therapy only. Also keep in mind that there is enough work out there for all of us and this doesn't have to effect you negatively. Just tell her next time that you hope all the best for her but advertising in your building is a conflict of interest if you are going to be her mentor. I'm sure she wasn't trying to hurt you.
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Permalink Reply by Las Vegas Massage In Summerlin on
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What you mention has occurred to me, and I “re-acted” just as most do: negatively. A better story though is when I was back in massage school. A competitor came to the school and put up flyers all over the businesses in the same building center as our school. I was out there before class taking them down when Dr. Kinney, the owner, teacher and head of our school came and stopped me.
He asked me what I was afraid of. I told him I wasn’t afraid of anything, but it was still distasteful of another school to put up their information around our school. Dr. Kinney just laughed and said it was OK. He told me, “What if my patients or the owners of these other businesses see us out here scrambling around, attempting to take down all these flyers? Now, of course I don’t know how they would act, but I do know how I would act if I saw one of these other business owners running around taking down there competitions material: Oh, the competitor must have something really good that the current owner doesn’t have, maybe I’ll swing on by and see what it is!”
The point struck home with me. Don’t re-act in fear to competitors. We’re in the health and wellness industry, not the fear and negative thought of others industry. Yea, are our competitors going to do what they do? Yea. It’s what WE do that counts.
As opposed to re-acting in a fear based manner, which never works anyway, I’ve learned to just ‘up my game’, as they say.
“Oh, you’ve taken lessons from me? You are picking up what I’m laying down? Good for you, and I appreciate the fact that you’ve listened to me. Let’s kick it up a notch, as Emeril would say, and really get to it!”
Do you (and your staff, if you have a staff,) really listen to your current clients? I mean, superior listen skills and customer service that has them booking you months in advance before you can even mention it?
Do you know your target market and really know what they want and need? Intensely focused lead-generation marketing (whatever it may be,) to these people? Have you differentiated yourself from your competition?
Do you walk the walk after all of the above is said and done? Most that ‘copy’ us don’t have the understanding or the follow-up to really have any effect to our business. When I’ve done this, the action is what counts with the clients. Laser-like attention to the detail of whatever it is the client wants and needs as well as if I’m running a specific promotion I take action on every detail of what the promotion lists. Now maybe I’m just the nit-picky type of person, but if I go to the store with a coupon or whatever, and it lists specific details, the establishment had best come through on ALL of them. Most don’t, and don’t even come close. That’s OK; I just check out the competition and find one that does produce the goods. Then of course I edify them and refer them, and at times even partner up with them to promote both our businesses.
The ‘tit-for-tat’ negativity has never worked for me. Everyone saw how it un-balanced me, or how I lost my “One-point,” as we say in Aikido. If a client does see the flyers or other information of others comparing themselves to me, I just say that I’m happy for them, hopefully they are doing their best. (At times I’ll in throw in a comment about how said competitor even asked for my advice and I was flattered to share with them. This goes a long way as well. Most people don’t like to see negativity in others, although they seem to do it themselves a good deal.) Now, let me show you OUR best, and then you can go visit someone else and compare. Rarely do they ever go to the competition (and when they have they have been disappointed,) and are excited to have more attention directed towards them.
As to approaching this individual, if you must do so, I’d work on creating a beneficial relationship for both of you. We can never please everyone, and I’m sure this individual and you do thing differently. Why not refer each other to promote the best in both of you? It can be done if one is not filled with fear or anger and self-importance.
In conclusion to wrap around to the point, I always focus on making myself better, not wanting the challenges to diminish. As Jim Rohn said: “It is not what happens that determines your life future, it is what you do about it. Not the blowing of the wind, but the set of the sail. The same wind blows on us all!”
kris
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Permalink Reply by Beulah on
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No It hasn't happened to me but I'm sure it will. You know what though! if you have faith in your talent people will be drawn to the therapist that suites them and no amount of competition will matter . We are all very individual with our work . We are all drawn to it for our own reasons . Just remember you are great at what you do and so may they be but you will both find your own clients for you !
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Permalink Reply by Darcy Neibaur on
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Such wonderful wisdom. Thank you for sharing all this good experience with us all Kris. I have seen such terrible greed and selfishness within our profession. We are all here to give and serve, not to take and take and take. All we can do is "LET IT BEGIN WITH ME", and set the example.
Kris Kelley said:What you mention has occurred to me, and I “re-acted” just as most do: negatively. A better story though is when I was back in massage school. A competitor came to the school and put up flyers all over the businesses in the same building center as our school. I was out there before class taking them down when Dr. Kinney, the owner, teacher and head of our school came and stopped me.
He asked me what I was afraid of. I told him I wasn’t afraid of anything, but it was still distasteful of another school to put up their information around our school. Dr. Kinney just laughed and said it was OK. He told me, “What if my patients or the owners of these other businesses see us out here scrambling around, attempting to take down all these flyers? Now, of course I don’t know how they would act, but I do know how I would act if I saw one of these other business owners running around taking down there competitions material: Oh, the competitor must have something really good that the current owner doesn’t have, maybe I’ll swing on by and see what it is!”
The point struck home with me. Don’t re-act in fear to competitors. We’re in the health and wellness industry, not the fear and negative thought of others industry. Yea, are our competitors going to do what they do? Yea. It’s what WE do that counts.
As opposed to re-acting in a fear based manner, which never works anyway, I’ve learned to just ‘up my game’, as they say.
“Oh, you’ve taken lessons from me? You are picking up what I’m laying down? Good for you, and I appreciate the fact that you’ve listened to me. Let’s kick it up a notch, as Emeril would say, and really get to it!”
Do you (and your staff, if you have a staff,) really listen to your current clients? I mean, superior listen skills and customer service that has them booking you months in advance before you can even mention it?
Do you know your target market and really know what they want and need? Intensely focused lead-generation marketing (whatever it may be,) to these people? Have you differentiated yourself from your competition?
Do you walk the walk after all of the above is said and done? Most that ‘copy’ us don’t have the understanding or the follow-up to really have any effect to our business. When I’ve done this, the action is what counts with the clients. Laser-like attention to the detail of whatever it is the client wants and needs as well as if I’m running a specific promotion I take action on every detail of what the promotion lists. Now maybe I’m just the nit-picky type of person, but if I go to the store with a coupon or whatever, and it lists specific details, the establishment had best come through on ALL of them. Most don’t, and don’t even come close. That’s OK; I just check out the competition and find one that does produce the goods. Then of course I edify them and refer them, and at times even partner up with them to promote both our businesses.
The ‘tit-for-tat’ negativity has never worked for me. Everyone saw how it un-balanced me, or how I lost my “One-point,” as we say in Aikido. If a client does see the flyers or other information of others comparing themselves to me, I just say that I’m happy for them, hopefully they are doing their best. (At times I’ll in throw in a comment about how said competitor even asked for my advice and I was flattered to share with them. This goes a long way as well. Most people don’t like to see negativity in others, although they seem to do it themselves a good deal.) Now, let me show you OUR best, and then you can go visit someone else and compare. Rarely do they ever go to the competition (and when they have they have been disappointed,) and are excited to have more attention directed towards them.
As to approaching this individual, if you must do so, I’d work on creating a beneficial relationship for both of you. We can never please everyone, and I’m sure this individual and you do thing differently. Why not refer each other to promote the best in both of you? It can be done if one is not filled with fear or anger and self-importance.
In conclusion to wrap around to the point, I always focus on making myself better, not wanting the challenges to diminish. As Jim Rohn said: “It is not what happens that determines your life future, it is what you do about it. Not the blowing of the wind, but the set of the sail. The same wind blows on us all!”
kris
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Permalink Reply by Julia Mims Edwards on
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Art... wow this is a sticky one, ok if it were me I would be a bit questionable. Ok if the young therapist is 'hunger' for knowledge and she still wants to receive massage, I would ask if her if she wants information, she can come to you like an upcoming professional off the table, if not she will have to get her information and massages else where. I agree that as massage therapist we can not 'massage' the whole world I do not get threatened by anyone working near me because I am very secure in what I do I would have a problem if someone was just out to get information. Art keep your head held high and don't feel like you have been overly betrayed you are dang good and what you do and she will learn from you how to be professional! I am cheering for you!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Gerry Bunnell on
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Awesome response Kris, thank you!
I love working with other therapists and help them out as much as possible. We can only lift people up as high as we ourselves are willing to go. This is true for the clients we work with as well as our coleagues. The higher we strive to take others, the higher we must go ourselves. Or, we can choose to be used as a stepping stone and remain stuck where we are. It is a conscious choice.
It amazes me and also disappoints me to see people in our line of work get "territorial". I will be the first to admit that I can not be an effective therapist for EVERYONE out there. There are certain markets that I work very well with, and some that would be better served working wit another therapist. I encourage everyone to keep at least a few other therapists in your contacts list and try referring those clients you don't seem to be very successful in resolving their issues.
Artemesia, thank you for posting about this situation. Good luck in resolving it.
Peace
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Permalink Reply by Alfred Ball on
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Kris,
What a great post about competition, mentoring and building business.
Kris Kelley said:What you mention has occurred to me, and I “re-acted” just as most do: negatively. A better story though is when I was back in massage school. A competitor came to the school and put up flyers all over the businesses in the same building center as our school. I was out there before class taking them down when Dr. Kinney, the owner, teacher and head of our school came and stopped me.
He asked me what I was afraid of. I told him I wasn’t afraid of anything, but it was still distasteful of another school to put up their information around our school. Dr. Kinney just laughed and said it was OK. He told me, “What if my patients or the owners of these other businesses see us out here scrambling around, attempting to take down all these flyers? Now, of course I don’t know how they would act, but I do know how I would act if I saw one of these other business owners running around taking down there competitions material: Oh, the competitor must have something really good that the current owner doesn’t have, maybe I’ll swing on by and see what it is!”
The point struck home with me. Don’t re-act in fear to competitors. We’re in the health and wellness industry, not the fear and negative thought of others industry. Yea, are our competitors going to do what they do? Yea. It’s what WE do that counts.
As opposed to re-acting in a fear based manner, which never works anyway, I’ve learned to just ‘up my game’, as they say.
“Oh, you’ve taken lessons from me? You are picking up what I’m laying down? Good for you, and I appreciate the fact that you’ve listened to me. Let’s kick it up a notch, as Emeril would say, and really get to it!”
Do you (and your staff, if you have a staff,) really listen to your current clients? I mean, superior listen skills and customer service that has them booking you months in advance before you can even mention it?
Do you know your target market and really know what they want and need? Intensely focused lead-generation marketing (whatever it may be,) to these people? Have you differentiated yourself from your competition?
Do you walk the walk after all of the above is said and done? Most that ‘copy’ us don’t have the understanding or the follow-up to really have any effect to our business. When I’ve done this, the action is what counts with the clients. Laser-like attention to the detail of whatever it is the client wants and needs as well as if I’m running a specific promotion I take action on every detail of what the promotion lists. Now maybe I’m just the nit-picky type of person, but if I go to the store with a coupon or whatever, and it lists specific details, the establishment had best come through on ALL of them. Most don’t, and don’t even come close. That’s OK; I just check out the competition and find one that does produce the goods. Then of course I edify them and refer them, and at times even partner up with them to promote both our businesses.
The ‘tit-for-tat’ negativity has never worked for me. Everyone saw how it un-balanced me, or how I lost my “One-point,” as we say in Aikido. If a client does see the flyers or other information of others comparing themselves to me, I just say that I’m happy for them, hopefully they are doing their best. (At times I’ll in throw in a comment about how said competitor even asked for my advice and I was flattered to share with them. This goes a long way as well. Most people don’t like to see negativity in others, although they seem to do it themselves a good deal.) Now, let me show you OUR best, and then you can go visit someone else and compare. Rarely do they ever go to the competition (and when they have they have been disappointed,) and are excited to have more attention directed towards them.
As to approaching this individual, if you must do so, I’d work on creating a beneficial relationship for both of you. We can never please everyone, and I’m sure this individual and you do thing differently. Why not refer each other to promote the best in both of you? It can be done if one is not filled with fear or anger and self-importance.
In conclusion to wrap around to the point, I always focus on making myself better, not wanting the challenges to diminish. As Jim Rohn said: “It is not what happens that determines your life future, it is what you do about it. Not the blowing of the wind, but the set of the sail. The same wind blows on us all!”
kris
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Hey Thanks Y'All for the spport, advice and good words of wisdom...Each one of you had something unique and useful to say. I have calmed down a bit since first posting and regained my own self-confidence and am just focusing on my own special gifts to offer...I agree with alot of you re: enough work for us all, etc. and finding the right client / therapist match (and have referred people to others in my area).
One of you had a good post referring to what it was inside me that allowed this to happen, what need did it fill, etc. I guess it was a pride thing a bit (she is asking MY advice!) but I think what bothers me the most about the whole thing is that the whole time it was happening, I never quite trusted her anyhow...my "little voice" was always on alert. So I guess I am kicking myself a little for not listening to myself ! HA HA
And FYI - I am not really from Savannah, GA as listed, so all you therapists who ARE from there, don't start eyeing each other suspiciously... I just didn't want to have to list my real location and Savannah sounds nice. I like to avoid conflict!
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Permalink Reply by Connie McKim on
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I had the opposite situation. I asked a veteran LMT for advice and she was going to charge me her hourly rate to answer a couple of questions about setting up my books and who to use locally to set up my tax accounts. She left a bad taste in my mouth and I try to help other LMT's just starting out.
However, posting signs in your building is rude and you have every right to feel betrayed.
Connie
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