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Toxic client

So I have a client that I've been seeing weekly for a year now and have come to really dread her session because before she's even on the table, she unloads on me all this negative stuff about her life.
I consider her negativity to be very toxic and I'm not sure how to handle the situation. One thing I have done is to try not to feed her negativity. When she tells me about something that happened, I don't press her for details and just keep my mouth shut and keep working. Is there anything else I could do?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by lee kalpin on August 7, 2010 at 12:18pm

Yes, there is quite a bit you can do.
One thing to try: - before the client gets on the table you could suggest that she may get more relaxation and benefit from the massage if she is quiet, listens to the relaxation music and focuses on her breathing. That may help to quiet her down.
The main thing is, this is the CLIENT'S negative energy: it doesn't have to be yours and you don't have to tke it on. There are several exercises you can do to prevent taking on other people's energy. I would look at this client, not as a detriment, but as an opportunity to learn and practice how to protect your own energy. You will last much longer in the profession if you have this skill

1. Stop outside the treatment room door and ground yourself. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths
and focus on keeping your energy very positve. Picture yourself inside a bubble of white light - nothing
bad or negative can get into your bubble. When you take your hands off during treatment, re-imagine
your white bubble.
2. While you have your hands on the client, visualize any negative energy going in through your hands
(or your ears) and flowing out through your feet. None of these problems are yours, and this negative
energy is not yours - you do not have to keep it
3. When you take your hands off the client (to reposition or turn her over), discretely shake the energy off
your hands- so the client doesn't see you do this
4. After the session, wash your hands and let cool water flow on your hands and arms. Visualize all
negativity flowing down the drain - water is purifying.
5. Some therapists find verbal mantras helpful. Practice saying before the treatment, and during the
treatment (in your mind). - "I protect myself, I sheld myselt, I will give only good I will receive only good"
If you prefer a mantra with a message of faith, you can think of one that will work for you.

these are several different strategies. You don't have to try them all at once, but choose one or two and use them. Like any exercise, we get better and stronger with practice. You may not be able to work this effectively at first, but try the different techniques and practice until you are able to maintain your own calm, peaceful energy throughout the treatment and not feel tired and drained at the end of it.

Hope this helps
Lee