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Protocols for Safety
what are some that you use?
In speaking with a colleague of mine, we were discussing her initial hesitation towards booking a client. she was communicating with him via email and text i believe. with each new response she had grown a little more cautious, even though she had already given the client one massage. There were sexual undertones but never overt questions on what she could do for him. When he continually asked her if she would work his groin area she tried to deflect this with letting him know that while she didn't specifically do groin work she could incorporate PNF stretches that would help. In the end, when it was a direct NO to the groin work, he withdrew his request for the massage.
as we discussed this I shared with her my 2 experiences to date of sexual innuendo within my session. for me one was a direct question in email and one was another, similar to above, in that you couldn't quite put your finger on it. but after my session with the client, it was clear (albeit he didn't try anything) that he was looking for something more.
not all of us work in spas or populated offices. some of us work in our offices, alone. so it got me thinking about what others do to "weed out" the inappropriate clients, while still maintaining a professional demeanor.
for me...as what we were taught in school...intuition is your first guard. listen to yourself and i think we immediately can start the weeding process.
what are some others?
In speaking with a colleague of mine, we were discussing her initial hesitation towards booking a client. she was communicating with him via email and text i believe. with each new response she had grown a little more cautious, even though she had already given the client one massage. There were sexual undertones but never overt questions on what she could do for him. When he continually asked her if she would work his groin area she tried to deflect this with letting him know that while she didn't specifically do groin work she could incorporate PNF stretches that would help. In the end, when it was a direct NO to the groin work, he withdrew his request for the massage.
as we discussed this I shared with her my 2 experiences to date of sexual innuendo within my session. for me one was a direct question in email and one was another, similar to above, in that you couldn't quite put your finger on it. but after my session with the client, it was clear (albeit he didn't try anything) that he was looking for something more.
not all of us work in spas or populated offices. some of us work in our offices, alone. so it got me thinking about what others do to "weed out" the inappropriate clients, while still maintaining a professional demeanor.
for me...as what we were taught in school...intuition is your first guard. listen to yourself and i think we immediately can start the weeding process.
what are some others?
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Stephen Jeffrey on
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Lisa, did you take any of laura's classes ????
Laura Allen said:I'll stand by my statement, and I'm not offended by anyone ranting or disagreeing. I had a therapist show up for a CE class wearing a one-piece black catsuit that she was poured into, her nipples on the verge of jumping out, and a pair of 6-in stilettos. She did massage like that the whole weekend. What would be your impression if you went to her? She was sending a message whether it was conscious or not.
I don't think a tank top is sending a sex message unless your boobs are hanging out of it. Someone may hit on you if you're wearing a nun's habit, but I still maintain it's more likely to happen if you're dressed like you're going out pole dancing.
Marissa Macias said:Rock on with your bad self! ;)
Erica Olson said:Warning: rant to follow
Like it or not, we are in a profession that has been used as a euphemism for prostitution......
If someone has the wrong intent coming in, what you wear isn't going to make a lick of difference--ie, 70-year-old therapists getting hit on. Saying that female therapists are "asking for it" sends a horribly retrogressive message, IMO. No one "asks" to be sexually harassed, which is exactly what this is.
Laura Allen said:....if you dress in a sexy manner, you are asking to be hit on.
Darcy Neibaur said:Also remember, Am I dressed "Ugly" or Am I dressed "Cute". This is something that was brought out in an Ethics class.
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Permalink Reply by Erica Olson on
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My issue is not so much with what you said as how you said it, specifically the "asking for it" wording. As I stated, if one wants to be taken professionally, one should present a professional appearance, so I think we're both on the same page there. I don't think a therapist should post pictures of herself on her website looking like this (although it's pretty obvious from looking over her site to see exactly what she's offering, the "no sexual services" disclaimer aside), but I still think that sexual predators already have their plans laid out ahead of time--it's not like what you're wearing is suddenly going to flip a switch.
That being said, I've been reprimanded a few times in different environments for wearing tank tops (I'm not what you'd call boobalicious, but things do perk through, even wearing sports bras and in the heat of summer), but the only times I've ever been harassed by clients was when I was wearing professional therapist jackets.
Laura Allen said:I'll stand by my statement, and I'm not offended by anyone ranting or disagreeing. I had a therapist show up for a CE class wearing a one-piece black catsuit that she was poured into, her nipples on the verge of jumping out, and a pair of 6-in stilettos. She did massage like that the whole weekend. What would be your impression if you went to her? She was sending a message whether it was conscious or not.
I don't think a tank top is sending a sex message unless your boobs are hanging out of it. Someone may hit on you if you're wearing a nun's habit, but I still maintain it's more likely to happen if you're dressed like you're going out pole dancing.
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Permalink Reply by Jorge Arnaldo Pabón Acevedo on
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I think I understand the point of view.
The clothe can talk about you and your job. I think we need to wear adequate clouthe.
But at another hand, I use scrubs or Polo, and with my uniform some people ask for something else. But I think we need to be carefull with what we wearing.
:o)
Erica Olson said:My issue is not so much with what you said as how you said it, specifically the "asking for it" wording. As I stated, if one wants to be taken professionally, one should present a professional appearance, so I think we're both on the same page there. I don't think a therapist should post pictures of herself on her website looking like this (although it's pretty obvious from looking over her site to see exactly what she's offering, the "no sexual services" disclaimer aside), but I still think that sexual predators already have their plans laid out ahead of time--it's not like what you're wearing is suddenly going to flip a switch.
That being said, I've been reprimanded a few times in different environments for wearing tank tops (I'm not what you'd call boobalicious, but things do perk through, even wearing sports bras and in the heat of summer), but the only times I've ever been harassed by clients was when I was wearing professional therapist jackets.
Laura Allen said:I'll stand by my statement, and I'm not offended by anyone ranting or disagreeing. I had a therapist show up for a CE class wearing a one-piece black catsuit that she was poured into, her nipples on the verge of jumping out, and a pair of 6-in stilettos. She did massage like that the whole weekend. What would be your impression if you went to her? She was sending a message whether it was conscious or not.
I don't think a tank top is sending a sex message unless your boobs are hanging out of it. Someone may hit on you if you're wearing a nun's habit, but I still maintain it's more likely to happen if you're dressed like you're going out pole dancing.
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Permalink Reply by Darcy Neibaur on
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Erica would you please delete your post as the picture (this) does not belong here and was not necessary to make your point. Thank you.
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Permalink Reply by Lisa on
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not that i can remember Stephen. ;)
Stephen Jeffrey said:Lisa, did you take any of laura's classes ????
Laura Allen said:I'll stand by my statement, and I'm not offended by anyone ranting or disagreeing. I had a therapist show up for a CE class wearing a one-piece black catsuit that she was poured into, her nipples on the verge of jumping out, and a pair of 6-in stilettos. She did massage like that the whole weekend. What would be your impression if you went to her? She was sending a message whether it was conscious or not.
I don't think a tank top is sending a sex message unless your boobs are hanging out of it. Someone may hit on you if you're wearing a nun's habit, but I still maintain it's more likely to happen if you're dressed like you're going out pole dancing.
Marissa Macias said:Rock on with your bad self! ;)
Erica Olson said:Warning: rant to follow
Like it or not, we are in a profession that has been used as a euphemism for prostitution......
If someone has the wrong intent coming in, what you wear isn't going to make a lick of difference--ie, 70-year-old therapists getting hit on. Saying that female therapists are "asking for it" sends a horribly retrogressive message, IMO. No one "asks" to be sexually harassed, which is exactly what this is.
Laura Allen said:....if you dress in a sexy manner, you are asking to be hit on.
Darcy Neibaur said:Also remember, Am I dressed "Ugly" or Am I dressed "Cute". This is something that was brought out in an Ethics class.
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Permalink Reply by Marilyn St.John on
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My daughter is an OT at a major hospital in Chicago. Awhile back, the staff cleaned out a closet in their office and came across a massage textbook from the 60's that had no photographs, only line drawngs. The therapists were all naked!!
(We sees the enemy and the enemy is us...) She brought it home to show me and I had no other therapists around to share it with until you guys. :o/
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Darcy, with all due respect, no, I won't delete it. The image is not included in the body of the post, so it's only visible to someone who clicks on the link.
Darcy Neibaur said:Erica would you please delete your post as the picture (this) does not belong here and was not necessary to make your point. Thank you.
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i don't see anything wrong with it. even if the photo was included in the post. we're all legit here so i don't see why we can't view the other side of the tracks when discussing what NOT to do regarding dress (and marketing). :)
Erica Olson said:Darcy, with all due respect, no, I won't delete it. The image is not included in the body of the post, so it's only visible to someone who clicks on the link.
Darcy Neibaur said:Erica would you please delete your post as the picture (this) does not belong here and was not necessary to make your point. Thank you.
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Permalink Reply by Andrea McCully on
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Please share with us a list of these questions your staff uses to weed out the creepers.
Kimberly Rogers said:Hi Lisa,
I hear what you are saying. Even in this new enlightened "millennium" there are still creeps out there. I have worked in a health clinic and a maternity center, where other people answer the phone. I have explained to the reception staff how important they were to our protection by simply screening calls. The massage therapists came up with a checklist of questions for them to ask every time one of them answered the phone. And if they weren't sure about the caller, they would ask one of us to take over the call.
That was one of the things they taught us in school...screen new clients (both male and female--creeps exist in both genders). This technique has helped me out alot. Especially when one of the staff decided to post therapy openings on Craigslist. By using this tool, several creepy client-wannabees have been flushed out. It's also a good back-up when you're not sure if you're intuition is right (which it usually is 99.99% of the time).
Just my 2-cents worth.
--Kim
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Permalink Reply by Will Tice on
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If you even think they are going there, just tell them your boyfriend plays for the Packers. He's a great guy but boy does he have a temper!
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Permalink Reply by Robin Byler Thomas on
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Good discussion starter Lisa. This used to be an issue for me in the early days but hasn't been for a while. I always trust my intuition and if I have any doubts, I don't take them as a client; it never works out and is too much trouble if you do. Here's a phone screening list I've used in the past and can be modified for the internet. I find the more info you get from potential new clients the better off you are.
1) Where did you hear about me?
2) What prompted the call? (Stress, pain, injury, relaxation)
3) What are your expectations for the session?
4) What is your previous massage experience?
5) Full name, address, phone #'s and occupation?
6) Cash, check, or charge?
7) Will someone else be attending?
This may seem like a lot, but think about it; aren't you willing to give this info over the phone when you become a new patient at the doctors or dentist? I've never had a good client object while the iffy ones object to giving their last names. You don't want to build your practice with the iffy ones.
Years ago I had a young guy call me and tell me he liked to cross dress and asked if I would mind cross dressing for the session myself. I laughed so hard he hung up!
I keep a bat in the closet too and know how to use it.
Much success everyone!
Robin
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Robin--
As a long-time supporter of the GBLT community, this is a little . . . distressing for me. Granted, this definitely could have been a creep, but for transfolk (transgender or transvestite), non-judgmental acceptance is very difficult to come by. As a general rule, cross-dressers find it a relaxing activity, rather than a sexual one. Asking if you would cross-dress during session may have been his equivalent of asking if you'd play heavy metal instead of Enya. *shrug* Just something to think about.
Robin Byler Thomas said:Years ago I had a young guy call me and tell me he liked to cross dress and asked if I would mind cross dressing for the session myself. I laughed so hard he hung up!
Robin
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