Massage for Abuse/Trauma Survivors

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Comment by Dustin Fox on November 23, 2009 at 4:59pm

I wish you all a very safe and enjoyable Thanksgiving Holiday!

Comment by Dustin Fox on November 21, 2009 at 7:38pm

Sorry to have been missing for a few weeks. Just got a different PC and had to rejoin everything. Don, your previous posting was very OK....

Comment by Don Solomon on October 25, 2009 at 12:08am

Oh my goodness, I hope my previous posting did not give pause to people about to post.. I thought people should know that what we share on theses groups is open to the owner of the network to do what they will with for as long at they like..
Bye for now
Don

Comment by Don Solomon on October 18, 2009 at 3:45pm

I just had a quick read of the 'Terms of service' For this networking site and thought that people should be aware of the rights we are granting this social networking site. Amongs other things they are: You hereby grant Ning, during the course of your usage of the Ning Platform, a nonexclusive, worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, sublicenseable and transferable right and license to (i) use, reproduce, create derivative works of, distribute, publicly perform and publicly display Your Content (a) for the sole purpose of operating and making Your Content available on the Ning Platform and in all current and future media in which the Ning Platform may now or hereafter be distributed or transmitted or (b) for our internal business purposes; and (ii) disclose metrics regarding Your Content on an aggregated basis for advertising, marketing and business development purposes. If you wish to grant Users or the general public additional licenses to Your Content, please include the license terms with Your Content. Without limiting the foregoing, Ning reserves the right to retain copies of Content for archival purposes after termination of the Agreement.

Don't put anything on this site you would not have on a post card
Don Solomon, RMT (Vancouver, B.C., Canada)

Comment by Don Solomon on October 18, 2009 at 3:16pm

Thanks for the link Christopher (or do you use Chris?)
Cheers!
Don

Comment by Christopher A. Moyer on October 18, 2009 at 10:51am

Hi Jennifer.

I agree that it is permissible to ask people for their source when they produce a statistic or fact.

Having said that, I think some people are having difficulty with your tone - or more correctly, what they perceive your tone to be. It seems people perceive it to be condescending and impolite.

This may be partly a function of writing on a forum, rather than talking in real time. There is some evidence that people have difficulty understanding the intended tone of a message when it is in a format such as email, as opposed to talking in person or on the phone. See:

http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2006/02/70179

for a summary of the research on this that was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

Here is an interesting experiment folks reading this thread might like to try - read some of the posts out loud with a defensive, challenging tone. Then go back and read them again - the same messages - with a softer, curious, more empathic tone.

The same words seem really different, don't they?

Ask yourself - which tone did the original writer intend? How did you determine that, and how can you be sure?

-CM

Comment by Eeris Kallil CMT on October 17, 2009 at 10:26am

Dustin, I am glad you are here on this site and seems like I can learn a great deal from your experience, and will look forward to your input in the future! :)

Comment by Antonia Nelson on October 16, 2009 at 11:55pm

Its fine to ask someone for their statistics, if they don't give them, well they don't give them, challenging someone and asking for something in my book are two different things, one has a bite, the other one is asking for some clarity. There are many ways to abuse, and no, I'm not kidding.

Comment by Antonia Nelson on October 16, 2009 at 7:58pm

I would love to see the abuse that is going on here stop!! Lets stop judging and share the way this site was intended,, of course its about abuse and trauma, so its gonna come up isn't it? There seems to be a kinder and more compassionate way to behave here. I think we all have a passion for working with people around trauma and abuse, its also important to do our own work around it, so we don't keep projecting it out to the world and on each other. It's a lot easier to have conversations online that aren't kind, that stuff usually doesn't happen in person. My hope is that we can go on and be who we are, respect each other and ask for what we need or want without axing anyone!!
Its impossible to judge another's "therapeutic skills" by an internet post.
HEY DON,thanks for the great post on Peggy Pace's book and information, sounds like good stuff!!
I hope you all have a GREAT weekend
take care
Antonia

Comment by Don Solomon on October 16, 2009 at 2:46am

Earlier this evening, I found myself with an extra hour to relax and though that I would re-read Peggy Pace's text book from her Lifspan Integration (LI) course. It had been about 4 years since I attended her level 1 course. So I thought it high time that I should re-read the info.. In short her counceling (I believe in creative spelling :) ) technique borrows from Eye Movement Desensitization and Retraining (EMDR) in a few areas. However, is fundamentally different. L.I. is very subtle where EMDR is rather like being hit by a brick (I'm sure EMDR practitioners will have somthing to say about this statment). Last year I had about 10 EMDR sessions and sure felt that I had been put through the ringer.. BY contrast L.I. seeks to bypass the trauma.. No, not to deny the trauma but rather bypass it. L.I. is a guided visualization technique that is based on Carl Jung's ideas of ego states... This is very cool stuff... Jung believed that as Adults our perseption of ourselves is really based on a collectiond of matured ego states.. The best way to get this concept is to think of it in terms of an Orchestra. As Websters Dictionary puts it: an Orchestra is a group of musicians including especially string players organized to perform ensemble music. In Jungs Ego State Model each musician would represent a matured ego. Think about what it takes to become a member of an orchestra.. First you have to learn to play your instrument; then you have to learn to play well; then you have to audition and be accepted; then you have to continue to practice practice practice.. As adults we move between and become the verious muscians as they play the wonderful music of life (think Ode to joy).. Trauma may not effect all the musicians, it may just effect some of them. Imagine your 1st trumpet and your kettle drum player become injured (as result of a trauma) Now they may play very well in most situations but, every now and again, they get triggered (a sight, a sound a smell, how a room feels or even a badly quoted statistical reference ;) ) and suddenly your 1st trumpet and your kettle drum (ego reacts with fight flight or freeze) and starts playing a different tune.. So if we go back to say, Ode to joy and suddenly your first trumpet and kettle drum start playing 'boogey woogy bugle boy' (loudly) the whole orchestra gets disrupted and the once wonderful sound of harmony is shattered into a bunch of noise.. What L.I. seeks to do (through guided visulization) is to reconnect with those elements (reactive egos) that have reacted and are playing the disruptive tunes... Then help them become less reactive and integrate them back so they can join back in with the orchestra and start playing ode to joy once again..
Do check out Peggys site at: http://www.lifespanintegration.com/whatisli.php
Yours,
Don Solomon, RMT (Vancouver, B.C., Canada)

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