massage and bodywork professionals
a community of practitioners
The hard part of this job
I work in a spa...Ive been a massage therapist for almost 30 years.. I have good days and bad days of course... I had only three clients today...an hour and a half each... Two of them held me in reverence..Up on a pedestal...Like Im some sort of god or guru healer or something....They tipped me ridiculously huge amounts of money... But the last person I worked on told the front desk that his massage was a rip off...he did pay the full amount,but gave me no tip, and left the spa angry... I left work depressed today...This is a hard job on a lot of levels...If I was totally together as a human being...That kind of thing shouldn't bother me. But it does. ....I give my best to everybody....For me, this is the hard part about being a massage therapist...I want everyone to be happy with my work....I didnt see him leave angry, I was just told about it...If they wouldn't have told me... Id be happy now......For me... With all my experience...This is what makes my job hard...I cant please everyone.. I want to though... Just wanted to let you new people know...Its challenging work.. No matter how good you think you are..No matter how much experience.
Views: 521
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Brian Bronk on
-
hang in there, i feel for you, and have utmost respect for the way you give it your all every time.
. . . you might wanna check out advanced muscle reconditioning. entirely fresh take on treating muscles . . . results sure to amaze . . . and teaches teamwork that will prevent this sort of thing from happening.
-
Permalink Reply by Stephen Jeffrey on
-
Hi Gordon, Its always a bit alarming to have someone displeased with our massage, after all we put so much into it, we nearly always know when something's not right and correct it before it adversley effects the treatment.
On very rare occasions we may stir up some pyscological "stuff" the client did not expect and was not ready to deal with ?
-
Permalink Reply by Gordon J. Wallis on
-
Oh I'm fine...just a perfectionist.. He didn't want to be there anyway.. The interesting thing is how I felt.. Ive helped bazillions of people. Compared to a very very small amount that didnt like my work.. Ive done maybe 50,000 massages. The one rare one like that.. bothers me though.. And on a personal level Ive gone though some extreme stress lately..so that may have had a part in it.... I came into this site to be real...I talk about stopping surgeries and taking pain out of people in one setting...and I do...Often...but I also screw up on rare occasions..Tomorrow is another day.and.I cant wait..lol Stephen. You guys had an Awesome Olympics!!!
Stephen Jeffrey said:Hi Gordon, Its always a bit alarming to have someone displeased with our massage, after all we put so much into it, we nearly always know when something's not right and correct it before it adversley effects the treatment.
On very rare occasions we may stir up some pyscological "stuff" the client did not expect and was not ready to deal with ?
-
-
I can relate to how you were feeling. Hey... We are human! So when someone isn't happy with our work it hurts our feelings.
My question is why didn't he express some of his feelings during the massage? Did he not like it because you used too little or too much pressure? Lotion? Was there an area that he felt needed more attention but failed to tell you that THAT was his reason for getting a massage?
It bothers me that clients do not inform me of these things during the massage. I ask all kinds of questions before, during and after. I check in. If you don't tell me then I don't know!
-
Permalink Reply by Kathy Mackay on
-
Been there too. More than anything the very hardest person to work on is the one who doesn't want to be there. 99.9% of the people who are on my table are there because it is where they want to be and they believe it will help them feel better, reduce their pain and/or give them peace when we are done. On the rare occasion I have discovered the person was on my table because someone else forced or insisted they be there were the most difficult sessions I've ever done. I've had only a few but I remember each one as if it were yesterday.
The last one was a teenage girl whose mother INSISTED she have a massage to treat an injury. She was angry with her mom and therefore angry about being there. It wasn't until halfway through the session that this came out which helped me understand why she was not responding to anything I did. Once I realized the undercurrent happening I was able to redirect the session a bit which did help some but did not provide the kind of relief that could have been received had she been there by choice.
I called the mom afterward and offered her an hour massage as I didn't feel right about charging money for not accomplishing much. She was apologetic to me and thanked me for trying. **sigh**
It is very disconcerting and hard to shake. That feeling stayed with me for the evening as I recounted what I did -- looking for something I could have changed -- and not finding anything to change. It is difficult to provide incredible service to a person who absolutely positively doesn't want to be there.
-
-
Ultimately you would have to ask him...But he never had a massage before..He was on vacation with his wife...he complained how expensive the vacationi was.. She wanted a spa day and was very happy with everything....I seriously worked on him. He was ok until he got the bill...But we have to deal with those kind of clients from time to time...And I look at that as part of my job...to make people feel happier then when they came in to see me...So I look at it as a failure. The interesting thing is.. the other two clients before him thought I was the greatest thing on the planet...they tipped me huge .The difference between those massages was miniscule ..I just don't feel good when someone leaves unhappy.. thats all... But Im fine...I feel good...I did some awesome work today that I may comment on later...But right now Im drinking a Miller. lol..did six hours of massage work today...Im going to kick back for a while....
Jimswife said:I can relate to how you were feeling. Hey... We are human! So when someone isn't happy with our work it hurts our feelings.
My question is why didn't he express some of his feelings during the massage? Did he not like it because you used too little or too much pressure? Lotion? Was there an area that he felt needed more attention but failed to tell you that THAT was his reason for getting a massage?
It bothers me that clients do not inform me of these things during the massage. I ask all kinds of questions before, during and after. I check in. If you don't tell me then I don't know!
-
Permalink Reply by Brandy Snyder on
-
Hi Gordon,
I recently graduated from massage school in 2011. I remember an instructor telling our class that there are about 5% of clients out there who will not be happy with any type of massage session at all. In fact, those particular clients are the same people who aren't happy with ANYTHING! Do not beat yourself up over it. Being an MT for 30 years shows you are damn good at what you do. :) Tomorrow is another day.
-
-
I didnt beat myself up too much.. lol . At the moment I did though... I had good day today..Interesting...One client has been seeing me regularly for 18 years... Another lady came in today that said she was diagnosed with bursitis in her left shoulder...I found two trigger points. One on the infraspinatus, and another on the erectors around T5. After the massage her shoulder felt much better..Like not hurting anymore..That was cool..I thought...Then I ended my day giving a Vichy Massage to a new client. Vichy Massage is really awesome...You are in this $50,000.00 water massage room...The client gets a 55 minute hands on massage followed by a water massage thats pretty awesome...I will describe it in here someday.. Anyway, most people are Zoned and relaxed after... Its relaxing to get a good massage, and the hot water massage right after just enhances the whole thing. And sense that was the last massage of the day for me.....
I left feeling fresh and showered...Oh there was another client...My first client of the day...She has been a regular for a while...She had some foot soreness I helped her with. Other then that she just enjoys a good serious massage.. All my regulars except one.
Brandy Snyder said:Hi Gordon,
I recently graduated from massage school in 2011. I remember an instructor telling our class that there are about 5% of clients out there who will not be happy with any type of massage session at all. In fact, those particular clients are the same people who aren't happy with ANYTHING! Do not beat yourself up over it. Being an MT for 30 years shows you are damn good at what you do. :) Tomorrow is another day.
-
-
Sounds like he had "sticker shock".
Gordon J. Wallis said:Ultimately you would have to ask him...But he never had a massage before..He was on vacation with his wife...he complained how expensive the vacationi was.. She wanted a spa day and was very happy with everything....I seriously worked on him. He was ok until he got the bill...But we have to deal with those kind of clients from time to time...And I look at that as part of my job...to make people feel happier then when they came in to see me...So I look at it as a failure. The interesting thing is.. the other two clients before him thought I was the greatest thing on the planet...they tipped me huge .The difference between those massages was miniscule ..I just don't feel good when someone leaves unhappy.. thats all... But Im fine...I feel good...I did some awesome work today that I may comment on later...But right now Im drinking a Miller. lol..did six hours of massage work today...Im going to kick back for a while....
Jimswife said:I can relate to how you were feeling. Hey... We are human! So when someone isn't happy with our work it hurts our feelings.
My question is why didn't he express some of his feelings during the massage? Did he not like it because you used too little or too much pressure? Lotion? Was there an area that he felt needed more attention but failed to tell you that THAT was his reason for getting a massage?
It bothers me that clients do not inform me of these things during the massage. I ask all kinds of questions before, during and after. I check in. If you don't tell me then I don't know!
-
Permalink Reply by Adam Fluke on
-
You don't know why he was experiencing what he was experiencing. I am not saying that you shouldn't be reflective about your work, but at the end of the day massage is an intensely healing art. Healing is not always pleasant. I have a friend who talks about stress this way, if it wasn't fun going in, it won't be fun coming out. Trust that the universe would not have given him that reaction if it wasn't for his benefit. Maybe the therapeutic relationship he needs is waiting for him, and he needed a push to find it. You'll never know, so maybe try trusting by default.
-
-
healing most of the time, but . . . i've heard it many times over the years, deep muscle therapy made their condition worse. they don't sue the therapist, they know they had the best intentions, it just makes them think their condition is more serious than it is.
deep muscle therapy is much like chiropractic, you pop their bones and pray to god it works. often it helps, and often it leaves you wanting . . . it's not the be all end all. same w/ muscle therapy, often it's miraculous, but there's no way to know when it's gonna help and when it's gonna hurt.
actually, i have ideas how to prevent it from ever hurting . . .
-
-
...Armatures hurt people...Deep work should feel really freakin good. The amount of pressure applied has to be perfect..It's the touch after all that makes a massage...there is no deep or soft...its all perfect. Deep work means specific detailed work..Not brutal pressure. It has to feel so good they don't want you to stop...As deep as I go is this.." OOOH gawd thats sore. But it feels good, don't stop!!" lol I get people all the time that say they like deep tissue and others that say they dont like deep tissue....but what they really want is a good massage. Not someone rubbing their skin with oil or one that hurts like hell....Good massage is of perfect pressure...and that perfect pressure is different for each individual....The word deep tissue doesn't mean too much to me.
Brian Bronk said:healing most of the time, but . . . i've heard it many times over the years, deep muscle therapy made their condition worse. they don't sue the therapist, they know they had the best intentions, it just makes them think their condition is more serious than it is.
deep muscle therapy is much like chiropractic, you pop their bones and pray to god it works. often it helps, and often it leaves you wanting . . . it's not the be all end all. same w/ muscle therapy, often it's miraculous, but there's no way to know when it's gonna help and when it's gonna hurt.
actually, i have ideas how to prevent it from ever hurting . . .
© 2024 Created by ABMP.
Powered by
